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Child with Down syndrome and behavior issues
My 7 year old son has Down syndrome. He is a joy to be with. He does have impulsive behavior. His behavior isn't always impulsive, but when he is, he is uncontrollable. Has anyone had any success in diet or natural medicines to help with impulsive behavior? An MD prescribed risperdal for him, but we don't feel comfortable giving an antipsychotic med to a 7 yr. old.
Help me, I have a 4 year old, soon to be 5 in September with Ds and recently diagnosed with autism. He loves to bite, intelliquently he understands everything happening around him, he copies off of everyone as well.he used to only bite girls and now he is biting his peers, boys. He would go months without biting and then it comes back full swing. I need help please
Hi I am new to the group,
I have too much going on and I dont know what to do Im trying to stay strong for my son he has DS and has just turned 4yrs, Im a single parent and I have 4 other children ranging from 24 down to 4, my ex husband has narcissism and Its been 4yrs he continues to drag me through the courts, w
he only has one son to me and no other children! this was my second marriage, he first took my son away at 9mths old while i was still breast feeding, I had to take him to court to recover my son! it was a lengthy process and when i thought things would get better he then again had me in court for trying to swap daycare centers, I found myself served with a restraining order!! after that I though it was over but once again he has taken our son and not returned him, he is now accusing me "flogging" and abusing our son, I have only ever smacked my son when he would throw a tantrum and break things which has been increasing of late. My ex hus has lied in affidavits and didn't do him any good before!! like one lie was that he said his bond was stronger with our son and that he would have to come home and change soiled nappies that i was neglecting my son when asked by the judge how many days he worked my ex said 6 days per week and the judge said there was no way his bond could be stronger!! my son was also born with low muscle tone and was always constipated so the soiled nappies were also a lie.
I also believe my son maybe on autism spectrum but my ex wont admit he has behavioral issues he says to the court he only has tantrums while in her care! I have to rely on professional reports from my sons early intervention and daycare, they have appointed an independent children s lawyer for him, I am now looking for a fulltime job as my son is still in my ex care and I have lost my pension and carers allowance to stay at home to care for my son, I have no income and have to represent myself in court, all I can do is cross my fingers and put my faith in the system.
I have too much going on and I dont know what to do Im trying to stay strong for my son he has DS and has just turned 4yrs, Im a single parent and I have 4 other children ranging from 24 down to 4, my ex husband has narcissism and Its been 4yrs he continues to drag me through the courts, w
he only has one son to me and no other children! this was my second marriage, he first took my son away at 9mths old while i was still breast feeding, I had to take him to court to recover my son! it was a lengthy process and when i thought things would get better he then again had me in court for trying to swap daycare centers, I found myself served with a restraining order!! after that I though it was over but once again he has taken our son and not returned him, he is now accusing me "flogging" and abusing our son, I have only ever smacked my son when he would throw a tantrum and break things which has been increasing of late. My ex hus has lied in affidavits and didn't do him any good before!! like one lie was that he said his bond was stronger with our son and that he would have to come home and change soiled nappies that i was neglecting my son when asked by the judge how many days he worked my ex said 6 days per week and the judge said there was no way his bond could be stronger!! my son was also born with low muscle tone and was always constipated so the soiled nappies were also a lie.
I also believe my son maybe on autism spectrum but my ex wont admit he has behavioral issues he says to the court he only has tantrums while in her care! I have to rely on professional reports from my sons early intervention and daycare, they have appointed an independent children s lawyer for him, I am now looking for a fulltime job as my son is still in my ex care and I have lost my pension and carers allowance to stay at home to care for my son, I have no income and have to represent myself in court, all I can do is cross my fingers and put my faith in the system.
My sister has a 4 year old downs child who is extremely aggressive. He attacks his younger sister by pulling chunks of her hair out, hitting her with heavy objects and I even caught him approaching her from behind, about to put his hands around her throat. They are no longer left in the same room together but even under supervision, he looks for any opportunity to do her harm. No-one else in the family is at all aggressive so this isn't 'learned' behaviour. We are a very close family and I see them regularly so none of this is assumption based on ignorance. He, of course, can be a lovely little boy but that can change at a moment's notice. Social Care are very unsupportive, believing that he should be treated the same as a non-Down's child which would put him and his siblings in danger. I know that most DS children are very loving but there are a lot whose aggression is the dominant side of their personality. Please don't assume that all DS children are the same, these families need help and support, not chastisement for being 'bad parents'.
I saw a post you made in 2010. That was a long time ago. I have an 11 year old son diagnosed with Down Syndrome and autism. His ABA therapist wants me to try focalin to help him focus. He is not hyper but does have a short attention span. He is starting some behaviors such as dropping to the ground when he doesn't want to do something. He is not agressive but is strong and can also act silly and kick when he wants to. I really don't like the thought of medication. Any thoughts? I am trying to be open about this but it is hard.
Kathy Kelly
Kathy Kelly
I work as a live-in caregiver. My employers are a retired couple; my job is taking care of the husband, who suffers from senile dementia and several other medical conditions; also he has no mobility in his legs. Their 47-year-old D.S. son (Johnny) also lives in the house; he is fairly high functioning and works out of the house at a plastics factory that has special accommodations/coaches for the developmentally disabled.
I function as a member of the family, love them very much, and take part in household decisions. I have been assigned to somewhat of a leadership role with Johnny. My problem is that I find living with him increasingly frustrating. Basically, there is nothing in this house that is off-limits to him. He is given freedom to rearrange closets and cabinets; though he does not cook, the kitchen counter-tops, cabinets and drawers must be arranged according to his (very illogical) dictates, or he has a tantrum and makes life miserable. It is becoming difficult to have guests because Johnny always creates some kind of a scene -because people are in the house rearranging "his" things. He is disrespectful and verbally abusive to his elderly father, which really puts my back up; his mother tells me not to worry about it because the father is senile and does not realize what is happening. I disagree.
Frankly, I think Johnny deserves a firm rebuke in these cases. His mother spends a lot of time "sweet talking" trying to get him to agree to behave better; she seldom requires him to apologize for his rudeness, and she seldom effects a change in his behavior. Basically what I see happening is that Johnny keeps all of us focused on what he wants all of the time; if he does not get it, WE pay. Everything is fine, he is very sweet, until his dictates are not followed -then watch out. He is overweight, and meal times are very unpleasant because he becomes belligerent if he cannot have seconds/thirds/high calorie beverages/dessert. I dread sitting down at the dinner table because I know my leadership will be challenged and his mother will end up giving in to him to avoid his belligerence. Johnny seems to know this, also. Ditto for the daily shower; it is always an argument between him and myself with him appealing to mother until she overrides my decision. He has become quite adept at making me look like the "mean" villain, and often creates situations/stretches the truth, trying to cast me in an unfavorable light, which I find stressful. I am frustrated because I have the leadership role without the authority to back it up. His mother tends to override my decisions because I do not make all my appeals to him in the sweet, fawning way that she feels is best for Down Syndrome. I am frustrated that she lets him speak to me and "dad" in such a rude and disrespectful way, yet shields him from any consequences his "fighting words" would normally carry. It is like he throws a bomb, then goes running back to mama for protection. You may think this seems petty, but when you are a man and have to live with this 24/7 you get quite demoralized by it.
Mother tends to draw Johnny in very close to her and side with Johnny against Dad and myself. Mother and Johnny enjoy discussing and analyzing other's shortcomings. Somehow Johnny's behavior in never Johnny's fault. It is always dad's fault or my fault or a "misunderstanding" on Johnny's part. I can frankly see that some of this misunderstanding and lack-of-hearing is on-purpose.
His mother bristles when I use a firm tone of voice with him, but frankly I think he needs a firmer hand. When his mother is out of the house he becomes VERY respectful. But as soon as she comes home he starts in with the whiny, tattle-taling, mama's-boy routine -until mama's blood pressure has risen to dangerous levels and I am ready to leave. I am at a loss. It is nearing the time that he returns home from work and I am dreading it, as usual.
I function as a member of the family, love them very much, and take part in household decisions. I have been assigned to somewhat of a leadership role with Johnny. My problem is that I find living with him increasingly frustrating. Basically, there is nothing in this house that is off-limits to him. He is given freedom to rearrange closets and cabinets; though he does not cook, the kitchen counter-tops, cabinets and drawers must be arranged according to his (very illogical) dictates, or he has a tantrum and makes life miserable. It is becoming difficult to have guests because Johnny always creates some kind of a scene -because people are in the house rearranging "his" things. He is disrespectful and verbally abusive to his elderly father, which really puts my back up; his mother tells me not to worry about it because the father is senile and does not realize what is happening. I disagree.
Frankly, I think Johnny deserves a firm rebuke in these cases. His mother spends a lot of time "sweet talking" trying to get him to agree to behave better; she seldom requires him to apologize for his rudeness, and she seldom effects a change in his behavior. Basically what I see happening is that Johnny keeps all of us focused on what he wants all of the time; if he does not get it, WE pay. Everything is fine, he is very sweet, until his dictates are not followed -then watch out. He is overweight, and meal times are very unpleasant because he becomes belligerent if he cannot have seconds/thirds/high calorie beverages/dessert. I dread sitting down at the dinner table because I know my leadership will be challenged and his mother will end up giving in to him to avoid his belligerence. Johnny seems to know this, also. Ditto for the daily shower; it is always an argument between him and myself with him appealing to mother until she overrides my decision. He has become quite adept at making me look like the "mean" villain, and often creates situations/stretches the truth, trying to cast me in an unfavorable light, which I find stressful. I am frustrated because I have the leadership role without the authority to back it up. His mother tends to override my decisions because I do not make all my appeals to him in the sweet, fawning way that she feels is best for Down Syndrome. I am frustrated that she lets him speak to me and "dad" in such a rude and disrespectful way, yet shields him from any consequences his "fighting words" would normally carry. It is like he throws a bomb, then goes running back to mama for protection. You may think this seems petty, but when you are a man and have to live with this 24/7 you get quite demoralized by it.
Mother tends to draw Johnny in very close to her and side with Johnny against Dad and myself. Mother and Johnny enjoy discussing and analyzing other's shortcomings. Somehow Johnny's behavior in never Johnny's fault. It is always dad's fault or my fault or a "misunderstanding" on Johnny's part. I can frankly see that some of this misunderstanding and lack-of-hearing is on-purpose.
His mother bristles when I use a firm tone of voice with him, but frankly I think he needs a firmer hand. When his mother is out of the house he becomes VERY respectful. But as soon as she comes home he starts in with the whiny, tattle-taling, mama's-boy routine -until mama's blood pressure has risen to dangerous levels and I am ready to leave. I am at a loss. It is nearing the time that he returns home from work and I am dreading it, as usual.
We have been there as parents of an adult who has Down S. Do the best you can for the safety of others and your loved one. No one knows what causes the outbursts. And if you need help, get it from the community. It is a long, difficult road. We placed our son after he was out of school. He is 44 years old and still has outbursts each year about 4 or 5 times. Love him but this causes grief as a parent.
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