Raising a DS child as a single mom?

I'm 40 (just) and worried about  having a Downs baby. I'm a single mom by choice and have a beautiful, happy 4 year old boy. I feel so blessed. I  made a choice to "complete" our family by IUI donor insemination. My doctor told me my risks of DS are 1:60... I guess I'm worried about the effect the family dynamics of raising a DS child (special needs, extra care... etc.) would have on my son's chance of having a happy childhood with his mommy fully present for him. I don't know that there is really a question in here... but I guess I'm looking for anyone who has real life experience.

[SimplyStar]

I had 4 children when I had my son that is a DS,  they added to his life as he added to theirs,  I was also 40 when I had him. To me it was never a case of { extra care } jhe was one of the famuily and was always treated equal. Yes he was slower to learn and grow, and he did has some health problems, but it all worked out great.  It made my older children more patient and  understanding,   now with their own children , they are all great parents. Chris is 37 now and a great guy, I wanted him to be as independent as possible, so that is the way he was raised. He was in special ed  from age 2 to age 21 when he graduated from high school. My children at the time were 13, 11,9, and 5. My chances at my age were 1 in 20. I am an RN and when he was 10,  I went back to college to learn how to teach him more skills. I ended up working for the government then for 15 years, working with adults with disabilities. To me they are a great population.  The effect on your other child will be positive if you make it that way.  Do not be afraid.

[sleepless_mom]

Hi Star,
Thank you for such a heart-driven understanding of raising a DS baby/child. I think your right, life comes with no guarantees, even for a child born healthy. It's just hard to look past the fear of the unknown. I know that I have the strength to pull my little family through whatever the days and years ahead will challenge and bless us with.

My limited understanding of day-to-day with DS comes from spending time with my close friend who is now around 60. She has a DS girl of 25 (she had her when she was 32). The daughter unfortunately is not self-suficient and never progressed beyond kindergarten level in her mental development; complicated with speech that is slurred and stuttering that makes it nearly impossible to understand. Her mom is/was her biggest advocate. Fortunatley they are blessed with a large extended family and have been able to co-reside with the grandparents who watch after Lindsey daily. I will not have family availbale to step-in. If needed, how does one go about finding the best resources (education/healthcare) in their community? I live in Oregon.

Again, thank you for sharing.

[SimplyStar]

all one needs to do is contact the ARC in your area  google ARC of Oregon   there you can find all the services available  for you   because of the ADA act  the limitations of people with disabilities has been removed.  Our children have all the rights of all children for education and services. I have never paid any attention to labels and such, you will be surprised at how much any child can learn   with the aide of all the services offered. We all learned sign language to aide my son with talking, when he got to the point of learning the signs quicker than we did , it was great. The signing then helped him learn speech, We found that an addition of a hearing aide helped him also.  I will keep checking back and will be here for any further questions, Chris and I are flying to AZ for several weeks through Christmas, but I will check back when I can.  We love  our visits to Oregon, we do times shares in the Welches Area, around Mt Hood. Chris loves the Enchanted forest, the Candy Factory and the Falls. Such a beautiful state you live in.