Hello, I'm a grandmother of a 2 year old with downs syndrome. My daughter is the single mother of my grandson Camerin. She is really struggling with his outbursts. She gets frustrated easily and gives up pretty quickly when trying to work with him at home. He has alot of problems focusing- problem is that she's let him "be happy" by watching cartoons and movies so she can get other things done but it's now snowballed into he doesn't want to sit still and focus on a single task. She's a really good mom- but this seems to be her biggest downfall. She had him at 19 and is doing this with out the help of anyone but me. She's going to be moving out soon-I'm hopeing this will help b/c she relys on me alot to help out with Camerin. I don't mind at all helping out- i know she needs a break, but she uses me as a crutch. I keep harping on her about getting him on a schedule and to try different things when he gets frustrated with her to get him out of the "mad" mindset, but she' just gets mad at me too. I told her it's taks time- it takes routine and eventually he'll come around but the sooner you get him to be able to listen to you and concentrate- the better for him. He is the most precious thing to me in this world and I hope we can get thru this. I'd much rather have him develop these skills when he's young and hopefully avoid any medications later.
If anyone has feedback on how to help with Camerin or my daughter I'd appreciate it very much. We're beginning the introduction of potty training as well. Any suggestions?
While I myself have a baby with Ds, I have 3 Step children, one of whom has a severe learning disability. We have found that schedule and structure is best for her, but we don't have her everyday so "re-programming" is difficult since her mother does not focus on working with her. We also noted that getting her involved in other activities was helpful, because she was having some serious difficulties in school and dealing with her peers and siblings. My step daughter is 11 though, so age is very different than a 2 yo. But we always work on accountability, whether it's ours or hers. Perhaps, as you mentioned some of the change will happen when/as your daughter ages herself. Does your daugter have access to play groups for children either with or without special needs for ages 0-6 years? I run an Early years YMCA for special needs group here in Ontario, Canada and I find that the group helps both parent and child. Especially those that need something to focus on, other than the routine things at home.
I am sorry I don't have specific items to help with, but I did find that reading, and teaching 1-2 year old about colours, numbers and books of the like really helped with some focus issues. I will canvass my group's parents and see what other suggestions they come up with that might help you and your daughter. (Also with potty training tips.)
Sandi (Dragon1973) Moderator
I forgot to ask you, is your daughter and her son receiving any in home therapies? Does Camerin have the group care that is provided? (Not sure where you are living but I gather it might be the UK since you spelt Ds as Down's syndrome as here we use no apostrophe - Down syndrome) In Canada and USA, all home and outside therapies like Occupational therapy, Osteopathy, Physical therapy, educational assistance etc. are all covered & provided by the Health system. I have received numerous amounts of help and suggestions for my son through this program, otherwise known as Early Intervention. Most places utilize Early Intervention strategies to assist streamlining education for children with Ds so that they end up more apt to be in an inclusive classroom setting. The earlier Early Intervention or EI is started, the better the long term results with milestones, education and also later on in life. I did not know if your daughter is already involved in the EI program, I suspect she likely is, but you did not mention it. So, if she isn't, I would strongly recommend getting Camerin enrolled. It certainly is never too late!!
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