i just need to talk

i feel i need to share a few things, and since i dont have any friends or family in my shoes i will talk to my cyber friends that have been there done that.  

im getting closer to my due date.  im 31w3d now (ya i have to add the days lol).  im feeling a little overwhelmed, or nervous, or maybe just plain insecure about my ability to be a good mom to 3 kids, and to meet everyones needs plus my new babies needs.  can i do it?  will they all get the attention they need?  will anyone feel left out?  will dh have feelings of being left out or insecurity as well?  i think i have put such a high standard on myself for what i can accomplish or handle that i fear i will not be able to do it.

im sure this is normal for any mom who knows before birth that their child could have health concerns or delays.  i have had such a great pg so far.  i feel pretty good but this week i am very emotional.  i dont like not being able to take control of my feelings.  i dont like feeling nervous and worried.  i know i can do it, i am a pretty strong (stubborn-german irish girl here!! LOL) but when i dont feel like im in control, i guess i can get crabby to say the least.

i think one of my fears too is that i had my son at 37 weeks and my dd at 34w6d.  i am getting close to that and i just want to make it to 38 at least.  what a mess i am!! i guess i just need to hear i havent lost my mind, im a normal mom and i will do just fine.  i have to, i have too many people that depend on me!

[have 2 kids]

You will do what needs to be done!  The kids will get the attention they all need- it might not be quite the same but they will all be fine.   You will be able to include the older two when you need to care for the baby.   Until the baby is born you won't really know the extent of her heart concerns but babies are adaptable and she will be able to go with the flow and run errands, take kids to school etc.   Don't be so hard on yourself!!    

[pertykitty]

you are so right, and i am better today.  i have another echo with the pedatric cardiologist in may and i am hoping they say her holes are closing!

if that look octomom can do it (of course she does it badly but still she is doing it) then i can with 3!! lol  

its always so great to have another mom cheer you on.  its that support that keeps reminding me we can all do what needs to be done.  it just takes a few deep breaths and some chocolate haha.  or new shoes!

[Dragon1973]

Awww Pertykity,

You are being so hard on yourself.  I have to say, in the realm of having a baby with special needs, for the vast majority of things, you will really find that most everything is truly the same as any other baby, with the only difference being evaluations with Early Intervention specialists at 3 months and beyond.  With Hunter, we didn't know he had an ASD (hole in his heart between chambers) and we even had a Fetal Echo Cardiogram that told us things looked normal!  It was only after birth when we took him to the paediatric Cardiologist that we learned of the 8 mm hole.  You know, we only actually had to re-book another Echo cardiogram for when he was 6 months, and at that time we got great news that it was nearly closed on it's own.  We go back when he's a year (in August).  But, I didn't realize how true it was that when the Geneticists said to us, don't worry - it's like any other typical baby when they are this little.  We do have our own small unique challenges, but they usually are not really monstrous or overwhelming.
I think if you have managed with an addition to the family after having one child, you will manage just fine.  Give yourself credit!  You have done well so far right!  And you will continue to do so!
I know you will be awesome.  And you have your family to help you.  Don't stress yourself out.

Sandi  :)  
Down syndrome Group Founder/Moderator

[pertykitty]

sandi i am hard on myself quite often.  i have had challenges with my son that continues today.  i have learned patience with that kid and i have love that goes and goes and goes lol.  i have great support, and i am sure if i need a hand i just have to pick up the phone.

i hear its harder to go from 1=2 rather than 2-3.  we shall see!!  yes i have done ok so far lol.  

[Dragon1973]

So true.  I think the fact that you are so hard on your self speaks volumes about your super determination.  Those who don't care, and aren't good at what they do, never worry about such things.
I may not know you, but I have faith in you!  We are all stronger than we think!  
Sandi  :)