Contracture of swallowing muscles? :(

Hi all, this is an explanation I wrote for the doctor whom I haven't seen yet...

For the last few months I have been having problems with straining my ‘swallowing muscles’ and swallowing too much. Because I have OCD I kept thinking about those muscles and hence kept tensing them, making speaking strained and painful. Then I read about people who can’t stop thinking about saliva, so began to swallow constantly throughout the day. My ‘swallowing muscles’ in my throat often felt really tense and strained and sometimes swallowing hurt.

About five days ago, I swallowed in a way that was rather painful. I somehow felt like the muscles near the back of my tongue ‘clamp down’ forcefully and my muscles somehow locked up and cramped. My jaw muscles became extremely tight, sometimes so bad I couldn’t speak without sounding like I had paralysis of the mouth. In addition, my voice often sounded like a muffled squeak, and I felt I had to force the air through a small passage.

In other words, I believe some of my swallowing muscles are permanently engaged, or in such a state of tension that they feel they are. I don’t know if they are even in their ‘neutral’ states (as opposed to their operative states), but it feels like my muscles are permanently ‘stuck’ in this swallowing position and bearing down upon my airways. I am afraid the tension will spread to the whole system and that the muscles will block my windpipe/larynx, cutting off breath!

I am having difficulty swallowing solids, and now even some difficulty swallowing liquids. It feels like my throat is constricted and I have to force the food down, because my throat is already partway through the act of swallowing. I was freaked out the other day when I placed some Graham crackers in my mouth and they disappeared without any voluntary action on my part! In other words, the muscles just swallowed by themselves. Not in the involuntary reaction way, but I didn’t feel ANYTHING move but the crackers went down my throat. I also know this because when severe I feel the muscles swallowing all the saliva on their own volition.

Every time I speak I feel the swallowing muscles block my larynx and constrict the air. Every time I cough it is painful and feels ‘blocked off’, and I feel the muscles push down on the  bottom of my throat. Sneezing is the same. I know this is not normal because it only appeared in the past 5 days.

For the past three days I have been living in a state of high anxiety and at times, terror, that this permanent swallow will literally kill me. I have stayed up at nights covered in sweat and feeling a sickening sense of panic where every fibre of my body feels like it’s on fire, not knowing if this night will be my last. I am hoping and praying that it will go away, but I just read that severe muscle spasms will not release unless manually relaxed. I am trying that, as painful as it can be,  but I am afraid I am not doing this correctly. I barely have an appetite, am not drinking enough, and feel the stress of being away from home is exacerbating my symptoms. I know I may have to pay a costly medical bill but I sincerely request that I may be allowed to pay it on my return home to Australia, as my funds are getting low and I have to survive for three more weeks. I regret my decision to postpone my flight (as much as I love America).

I am at my wit’s end and can’t stand this any longer. I desperately feel I need to find a solution to this problem. I am writing this explanation, in part, because I am trying to minimize speech/strain on the muscles (as it’s painful and difficult to do so and may cause further damage). I am scared because I have been straining these muscles almost constantly for 6 months and I feel I may have paid the ultimate price.


Footnote: I just read something about contractures where a muscle can become permanently shortened because of prolonged tension and that sounds EXACTLY like what this is.


Please I really need help, I have no idea what to do or if this will really last forever! If you know anything please let me know!