Am I slipping

Okay I am a 40 year old woman. I know that is kinda old for the whole eating disorder thing but I battled Bulimia most of my life I am 5' 10". Most of my life I weighed 130 lbs. I got married at 20 and gained 15 lbs. Then I got pregnant and ballooned up to 216 after three children. That is when things got bad. I joined weight watchers and started loosing weight but not fast enough for me. I started purging again ( mainly with laxatives so that no one heard me vomiting. ) I lost 75lbs in 18 months and was down to a size 6. I weighed 140 lbs but was in great shape. I was kick boxing, running and teaching aerobics. Then I got pregnant again at age 30. I was put to bed for 7 months and gained 60 lbs. I took most of it off by the time the baby was nine months I got back to a size 12 but I have been there now for 10 years. I work out 5 days a week at a gym ( also had a hysterectomy 6 years ago) but I am so frustrated with the lack of results that I have started taking laxatives again. I really do not want to go back there but I do like the results I saw. I eat pretty good, not perfect but......... I think I am slipping back into the old ways. My husband said my weight does not bother him but I know it does ( he had an affair two years ago with a woman who looked pretty much like I did when I was younger.)

[Ibrittie]

All I can say is pray mama, life is so short and regardless we all have something we battle with, but our lives are going to be cut a lot shorter by our actions. One thing I can definately recommend to you is to try special k diet it's very quick. I'm praying for you now

[Ibrittie]

I think honestly you NEED a counselor, for your husband to betray you in the way he did is unacceptable I'm so sorry you are and have to deal with this, I couldn't imagine my husband doing this to me

[scarolinagrl]

i agree with the counselor thing.  I am one year younger, I relapsed due almost the exact same triggers.  Sorry your man did that to you, I would be devastated, and though my man hasnt betrayed, but the fear is there occasionally because of comments from his mom about my weight loss.  I reached a 225 after having a baby, I am also the same height, have lost to a unhealthy weight in the opposite direction.   She will say stuff about "he may look at another woman with the curves, so don't be surprised". which makes me feel worse. I had gained when I seeked help for the very first time in 08, but due to triggers, and  not being able to accept it, I have lost every pound that I had gained.  I don't even want his mom or his sister to even know my current weight because of it.  I am already coontemplating on what to wear on holiday stuff to hide it from them, being that my mom and aunt saw me for the first time in few weeks last sat. and that was the first thing they noticed, and it scared them to  an  extent(which bothers me  as well,  but I cannot stop).  Hope you can find some help for your Ed and the issues with the past you have because of your man doing this, sounds like it could be the underlying trigger to your slipping even though it has been a couple years.  Hope he has realised that he is not supposed to try to even persue another woman, and knows in full the vow he made to you and takes it seriously, no matter if you weigh 200 pounds, or 80 pounds.