Anorexic/Bulimic Help Please

Okay, So I have been suffering mainly from anorexia since I was 17 years old. It started with just wanting to lose a few pounds, but then it never was enough. I started my ED at 5'6 and 133 pounds. I got down to a devastating 97 pounds within about 7 months. My calories got down to a very strict 300 a day. I decided to try to get better because people at school were making fun of me, so I made a plan to gain the weight back as fast as I could. I added 500 calories a month. Sure enough within 6 months I was pretty much back to 130. I wasn't ever exercising really. By this time I was 18, and I started feeling semi normal again.. Then someone made a comment that set me back into my realms of anorexia. I started starving myself again and lost weight again. I got down to 118 within a month but knew I didn't want to get back to the dangerous mind frame again, so I kept tricking myself into calories. I have been able to pretty much sustain the weight, and I started working out 2-3 days a week but it ***** because now I am 21, and I started purging about 4 months ago (frustrated with inability to lose). and I think it has totally effed up my metabolism EVEN MORE. because now I find myself trying so hard to stop.. but it is almost impossible because I feel helpless to this disorder. I have been working out at least 4 days a week (the past two weeks just about everyday), 40 minute work outs. Not losing a pound, my body looks way more toned though. I am very unhappy with my weight though. I barely eat anything at all, I maybe have 300 calories a day (and I even purge veggies and salads). I am so sick of being a prisoner to my body. I hope I am bloating I started birth control last weight, and I know they said it makes you retain fluid. Idk please someone help me out. I want to be normal again :( my ideal weight would be 115.


This discussion is related to how to begin weight loss after recovery.

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Treatment is what you likely need. Though it's possible to recover from an ED on your own, most people need to be treated by an ED specialist, often by a team of specialists. Start by seeing your primary care doc, to get a full physical to assess what's going on physically, including thyroid function, blood work, etc. Get a referral from your PCP for an ED specialist.
You've been through a lot, but don't blame yourself. AN and BN are diseases. They can be treated. You can recover and have be normal again.