Any suggestions?????

I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa in 2004.Since then I have struggled with my weight, eating, and self-esteem.  In December(2006) I was admitted into a partial inpatient program for 2 months. By April(2007) my eating began to get out of wack, because I would be fine with my weight and then freak out about it, not eat, and binge. At one point over the summer(2007) I began to binge and purge, and use laxatives. I really have a love/hate relationship with food and I don't like it one bit!!!!!!! My sugar levels have been unusualy high(200-220) and Ive been showing some signs of diabetes(extreme thirst, frequent Urination, headache, fatigue).My eating disorder is getting in the way of healthy eating habits. I either eat nothing, or binge on sweets. I feel so out of control.Does anyone have ANY suggestions of what might be happening, or what I can do to change my eating patterns?  

[avisg]

well you have relapsed and have now started bingeing and purging. I trip to the doctor is necessary tell them about you medical symptoms maybe they can figure out what is going on there..
You have been thru programs for anorexia ,so you know the drill find out what programs are out there
to help .You need to see an eating disorders specialist and a nutritionist...You can get this under control again relapses happen its part of the illness ... Let us know how you are doing
avis

[mianna]

I had a team at the hospital where I was admitted, but it is a 2 hour trip away, and really do not want to go see my therapist, because I don't feel that it helps because ANYTIME that I talk to him its like I get so caught up "in the moment" that I never truly use the resources I need. I really am tired of fighting, although I know that there are many who have suffered from an eating disorder MUCH longer than I have. Right now I am at a healthy weight, and I DO NOT like it. It is still considered "underweight" but I don't like to be at the healthy range. I REALLLLYYYYY.... want to relapse because like I said I don't want to fight it, because its like fighting with my best friend. This sounds very selfish, but I just can't help how i feel.

mianna