Bulimia/Anorexia.?

[Alannah93]

Heyy My Names Alannah,im 16 And About 5ft 4" I have always been quite skinny from my waist up as my body fat seems to form on my hips and below, being only 16 my mum wont let me diet i have to eat whats put infront of me.
I weigh almost 9 stone where as most of the other girls my age are about 7 or 7 and a half stone.
This has been at the back of my mind most of my life, last year i started bringin no lunch to school ,this lasted about 4 weeks until my friend threatened to tell a teacher that i wasnt eating properly.so i began to eat again except i missed food so much that i ate more than usual.
I felt disgusted with myself so i began making myself sick and even thought myself how to do it quietly.
I stopped this as i had a lack of will power but this summer i started again because i felt i had to impress people i didnt know more.
Again with a lack of will power i stopped.
But this time it feels different,two days ago i stopped eating, i am weak already and im fakin the flu so my mum thinks that i just have no appetite. When she makes me eat abit of dinner i run upstairs and get sick afterwards.ive even been giving my brother my lunch in the mornings and i tell my friends that my mum says that i dont have to eat in school because it makes me feel sick.
I have no intention on stopping this even though i would love to.
Im looking for somebody to talk to who has or has had bulimia or anorexia during their lives.
Thanks For Reading,
Alannah:) x

[Alannah93]

Please Reply!:) x

[Zoelula]

Hi Alannah

You are doing the right thing by posting on here because you realize that you need help. The good news is you haven't been doing this so long which makes it easier to get help, but that doesn't mean it's easy! Unfortunately, it doesn't get better, it only gets worse and your health is at risk. More important at this moment is you are miserable and you don't have to live this way! I started with my own eating disorder when I was around your age or a little younger and it continued for another thirty years. By that point my whole life was down to obsession about food and weight and I stopped caring about losing weight but only making the craziness stop! I have now been in recovery for 15 years and am still amazed at how free I feel. I strongly encourage you to get help, because otherwise it won't get better. Talk to your family doctor, or look for a referral to a therapist who is experienced with eating disorders. Eating disorders are about feelings and how we feel about ourselves. My guess is your self esteem is not so good. Those are the things you need to get help with to get the eating disorder under control. Talking to people online is good and there are some people on this board around your age that will probably see and respond to this post soon. But it's not the same as talking to people in real life who understand what you are going through. OA is a great place to talk to such people and get support.There are meetings everywhere, just look in the phonebook. Good luck to you!

[Alannah93]

thanks alot! ill try get help but im not so keen on it at the moment:( thanks again:D x

[Zoelula]

You're welcome. When you're ready, the help will be there for you.

[HGR23]

Hi, like the above person mentioned it is a good thing you haven't been doing this for very long. That doesn't mean you aren't sick or don't need help but it is easier to change the behaviors when they haven't been with you for years and years. I am a recovered anorexic/bulimic and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I was where you are though. There was a time that I didn't want help. I cringed at the thought of therapy and eating or not purging. Do you have a mentor? Someone you can just talk to if you're feeling down. Maybe an older adult? One of the main things that helped me even want to recover was my mentor. She pushed me(in a good way) to start living life the way I wanted to and not the way my eating disorder made me live. So anyhow idk if this forum thing has email or messaging, but you can message me if you'd like to talk.