Aa
Bulimia
I'm 16 and have been bulimic for about 3 years. I'm 5"1' and I weigh about 6 stone. I've only once admitted that i'm bulimic once before now, but since I admitted it, it's got worse.
I told a pretty close friend about it a few months back (I chose him because I didn't want to tell close friends or family as I thought they'd judge me) but now I feel like whenever he's around me he's watching me constantly and assessing if I eat anything or not.
I tend not to have breakfast and I have a small lunch cause if I don't eat anything my friends ask questions. But my Mam forces me to have dinner as she has thought for years that I make myself sick after eating. I usually eat the meal she makes then make myself sick and exercise excessively, just in case.
My Mam caught on once that I was making myself sick and completely overreacted that I didn't dare tell her the truth so I tried to convince her I wasn't, i'm not entirely sure she believed me though. She is still wary of what i'm eating and how often etc which makes it more difficult for me. I'm scared to tell her the truth though.
I now feel as though it's starting to take control of my life and my friends are becoming suspicious, so I'd like to know if anyone has any tips of how to get it under control?
It's held me back from so many things, such as keeping a long term boyfriend cos I can't explain it to them but felt like I was keeping things from them. I don't want it to get in the way of anything else now, so I need to control it.
PLEASE HELP!
x
I told a pretty close friend about it a few months back (I chose him because I didn't want to tell close friends or family as I thought they'd judge me) but now I feel like whenever he's around me he's watching me constantly and assessing if I eat anything or not.
I tend not to have breakfast and I have a small lunch cause if I don't eat anything my friends ask questions. But my Mam forces me to have dinner as she has thought for years that I make myself sick after eating. I usually eat the meal she makes then make myself sick and exercise excessively, just in case.
My Mam caught on once that I was making myself sick and completely overreacted that I didn't dare tell her the truth so I tried to convince her I wasn't, i'm not entirely sure she believed me though. She is still wary of what i'm eating and how often etc which makes it more difficult for me. I'm scared to tell her the truth though.
I now feel as though it's starting to take control of my life and my friends are becoming suspicious, so I'd like to know if anyone has any tips of how to get it under control?
It's held me back from so many things, such as keeping a long term boyfriend cos I can't explain it to them but felt like I was keeping things from them. I don't want it to get in the way of anything else now, so I need to control it.
PLEASE HELP!
x
Hi Star!
I commend you on admitting that you have this battle going on. That's where healing starts. Maybe you still want to hold onto your control of the food, but to face fears, it takes our courage. I'm so sorry that it is so tough for you.
I don't know exactly how I got control back, but I did one day realize that no matter how much I tried to control my weight and emotional eating with throwing up - that was never going to lead me anywhere! I could get so much more control if I dropped my fear of food and started practising "safe eating".
Right now I'd like to ask you to define what your control really is. Look at other ways to get control!!! Eat 4 times a day and ask someone to help you find normal servings. Food isn't fear. Food is a vital need.
The day I got that control, I food wasn't harm anymore. I stopped loosing my hair and I didn't have the anxiety constantly pounding in the back of my head anymore. Treat yourself with something except food one day - give yourself a reason to relax and enjoy life.
Florena
I commend you on admitting that you have this battle going on. That's where healing starts. Maybe you still want to hold onto your control of the food, but to face fears, it takes our courage. I'm so sorry that it is so tough for you.
I don't know exactly how I got control back, but I did one day realize that no matter how much I tried to control my weight and emotional eating with throwing up - that was never going to lead me anywhere! I could get so much more control if I dropped my fear of food and started practising "safe eating".
Right now I'd like to ask you to define what your control really is. Look at other ways to get control!!! Eat 4 times a day and ask someone to help you find normal servings. Food isn't fear. Food is a vital need.
The day I got that control, I food wasn't harm anymore. I stopped loosing my hair and I didn't have the anxiety constantly pounding in the back of my head anymore. Treat yourself with something except food one day - give yourself a reason to relax and enjoy life.
Florena
Hi Star,
I don't know if this is helpful for you, but I completely stopped making myself throw up when I found out that it could literally make my heart stop at any time. You don't need to have a "serious eating disorder" in order to die from bulimia. When you throw up, you lose a large amount of electrolytes all at once, which is what controls your heartbeat. People who die from bulimia die because their electrolyte balance gets thrown off very quickly, and their heart stops. When I was in high school and making myself throw up, I always knew that there were some risks (damaging my teeth and throat, etc.) but didn't realize that I was SERIOUSLY damaging my heart. When I realized this, I quit immediately and have never done it again. But I am now 29 and experiencing some heart problems, which may or may not be related to my history with bulimia. You do need to stop - it's not only screwing with you emotionally, but it is REALLY damaging your body. You can't see the damage now, but you will see it 5 or 10 years from now.
I hope that helps
Jennifer
I don't know if this is helpful for you, but I completely stopped making myself throw up when I found out that it could literally make my heart stop at any time. You don't need to have a "serious eating disorder" in order to die from bulimia. When you throw up, you lose a large amount of electrolytes all at once, which is what controls your heartbeat. People who die from bulimia die because their electrolyte balance gets thrown off very quickly, and their heart stops. When I was in high school and making myself throw up, I always knew that there were some risks (damaging my teeth and throat, etc.) but didn't realize that I was SERIOUSLY damaging my heart. When I realized this, I quit immediately and have never done it again. But I am now 29 and experiencing some heart problems, which may or may not be related to my history with bulimia. You do need to stop - it's not only screwing with you emotionally, but it is REALLY damaging your body. You can't see the damage now, but you will see it 5 or 10 years from now.
I hope that helps
Jennifer
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Eating Disorders Community
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
