Dating someone who is anorexic/bulimic

Hi, I am a 20 year old college male, and I recently started dating one of my good friends who I really liked.  She confessed to me she has been anorexic and bulimic for the past year to year and a half.  She has had a rough family life and bad ex-boyfriend, but is an absolutely amazing girl.   She said started by throwing up after some meals and then just started seeing the calories in everything she looked at it, often refusing to eat it or barely eating anything at meals.

She saw a therapist/nutrionist for a while, although didnt like it because she hated having to say exactly what she ate every week.  Currently, she does not see anyone.  She has not thrown up in over 2 months, and says she he is eating much more - and it does look like she has put a significant amount of weight back on.   However, I know she still thinks about her calorie-intake a lot.

Basically, how should I act as a boyfriend?  I want to be there for her, and help her get through this, but have limited experience and am not really qualified to give advice.  Can you better explain to me what exactly she is going through?  how to get over it?  how long will it take?  what should I do? I dont want to be seen forcing food on her.

THanks so much, I am just not sure the details about these disorders, so please tell me anything!

[mrsmisfit]

I think that is awesome that you care so much about this girl to ask for advice. I have been bulimic since 17. I'm 30 now. I'm week, my beautiful teeth are ruined. It takes such a toll on your body. She needs to nip this in the bud NOW! It's too easy to let this disease take over. As a boyfriend you just need to be there for her. I was married at 21 and my husband knew, but didn't understand. He would follow me to the bathroom and watch me when i was eating. I felt like I lived in a treatment center and it only made things worse. I'm re-married and I told my husband about it. Most people that don't have the disease can't grasp that you can't just eat and stop throwing up. It's an addiction like anything else. He doesn't step in at all and that gives me the freedom to just continue like he doesn't care so why stop?  Just be there for her let her know how concerned you are and maybe mention treatment or trying to talk to others on this forum. This is such a serious illness and she needs to know you are there every step of the way if she wants to get help. Just don't overwhelm your concern or bring it up a lot, because than she'll get defensive.

I hope this helps a little. I'll be here if you have any questions.

[vgm1990]

Hi, I am actually lviing with my girlfriend right now and she just recently turned 20. She is bulimic and is going to Insight in downtown chicago which is suppose to be a really good place to get help. I think she began doing this around 17 and i know she struggles with it on a daily basis/ shes trying (or says shes trying to stop). You said you remaried and the guy doesn't follow you around like your ex-husband "He doesn't step in at all and that gives me the freedom to just continue like he doesn't care so why stop? ". I don't want to be that person that follows her around expecting everything shes doing but I also don't want to seem like i dont care because like you said you still do it because it's like he doesnt care. Do you feel like you will ever overcome this ED and do you feel like theres a chance my girlfriend could over come this?