Do I have an ED or not?

Since 5th grade I've been bulimic, anorexic, and a huge binge eater, among other things.  I tried to commit suicide in 5th partly because I was overweight (I honestly was). In 6th I was just a binge eater and gained weight,  self mutilitating more than I did before.  6th summer I began to restrict again and exercised.  I lost weight- but of course not enough.  7th I exercised and binged because I was happy with my weight so I felt like eating was ok....plus it numbed my feelings.

It's been a couple years.  Now if I binge I go crazy and exercise untill I can't anymore (which isn't a lot btw) and punish myself.  I HATE food. On average I eat 100-350 calories a day. 500 max ever.  I purge when I can and abuse laxatives/ipecac when I can.

I thought it was rather apparent I had an eating disorder.... but the one and only person in my life who I've told this to says I don't have an eating disorder.  This confuses me.  He's the the person in my life who I've told more than anyone else. Point being he should know me better than anyone; he would know if I had an eating disorder.

SO I come here and ask if I'm just weight controlling and it's not a real disorder?  Hopefully someone will reply :P I can't think straight anymore.

[valley378]

It sounds to me like you know yourself better than anyone, no matter how close you are to them, and your dysfunctional relationship with food/weight.  I've been a compulsive overeater for decades and a bulimic for 2 1/2.  I've also been in therapy for 4 yrs and recovery via a 12 step program for over 2 yrs.  You definately sound like you have an eating disorder from your description.

[MelancholyMoo]

Yeaaa you're right... I'm just all over the place :P  Thanks and good luck to you