FIGHTING FOR CONTROL

I HATE THE WAY I LOOK. I AM 5'2 AND I FEEL FAT! I AM FAT! I HAVE BEEN GAINING WAIT THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS MAYBE LIKE 5LBS AND IT *****. THIS SUMMER I WENT ON A DIET AND FOUND MY SELF STRUGGLING WITH BULEMIA AND ANOREXIA! MY DIET STARTED OUT BY CUTTING MEALS AND EXERCISING. THEN I STARTED TAKING DIET PILLS. I STILL THOUGHT MY MEAL INTAKE WAS TOO MUCH SO I THEN CUT BACK TO PRACTICALLY NOTHING AND IF I ATE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS TOO MUCH I WOULD PURGE. I ALSO GOT TO WHERE I WAS TAKING TO DIET PILLS A DAY AND EXERCISING LIKE A MANIAC. I LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT BUT I ALSO GOT REALLY SICK FROM IT. I STARTED PASSING OUT A LOT. I FOUND MY WAY BACK OUT OF IT SLOWLY BUT I SEEM TO STRUGGLE WITH IT FROM TIME TO TIME BECAUSE I FEEL FAT SO MUCH.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND LATELY I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT PURGING A LOT LATELY AND I WANT TO DIET BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO GET OUT OF CONTROL ALL OVER AGAIN. HOW DO I DO IT WITH OUT GETTING CRAZY ABOUT IT?