Girlfriend with an eating disorder

Hi, i have a girlfriend that has an eating disorder. she hasn't actually gotten it identified but she eats very little and goes to the gym a lot. she likes to have control over her body i guess. Anyways, i just wanted to know how i could be there to support her. i don't want to put pressure on her but i think i can help. any suggestions?

[BeeFree]

Hi there,

It is great that you are researching the best way to go about this before acting irrationally. Too often friends and families of men and women suffering with eating disorders don't understand how to help, and can sometimes worsen the situation.
It sounds like your girlfriend is experimenting with weight loss and chances are, is feeling a kind of empowerment or control over not only her appearance, but her life. For many it feels like the only thing they can control when they are uncertain about their direction and themselves. Right now she needs to know you are there to listen and support her with any fears, concerns or insecurities she is dealing with. Asking questions is a much better approach than making accusations or demands. Ask her if anything has been bothering her lately. Be patient and kind and she will feel more comfortable to open up. Let her know that it is her personality-- whether it be her intelligence or laughter or sense of humour, her talents or creativity, etc., that you love about her-- not making much of a focus on her body. She needs to know that she is loved for her, not her appearance, and that she deserves to treat herself like she would anyone else she cares for.
Also remember that you are not responsible for how she takes care of herself-- only she is. But with support and advice she can turn this around before it gets worse.
Don't forget to keep things light and fun! A positive perspective helps tremendously.

All the best.