Girlfriend with bulimia

[Riskilinikiw]

Hello everybody,

A couple of weeks ago, I met a girl. Over the course of the last few weeks we had lots of fun together. I really fell in love with her, and judging her words and behavour that feeling is mutual. So far, so good.

A few days ago, she told me about her eating disorder. She told me, that sometimes she eates  a lot (binge-eating), whereafter she feels guilty and takes laxatives. She already spoke to a docter about it. He told her ( not so surprisingly) she had Bulimia nervosa.

I am so worried, I can't even express. I really like her, I really fell in love with her. Ending the relationshiop is not an option anymore at this point.

My question is... What can I do? How should I behave regarding this situation? What can I do to help her ( if I can?)
I really want to be there for her... I know this disorder has the potential to be deadly... I want to fight it away, but I am fully aware that it's her, who has to make the steps towards healthiness. Please.. What can I do to help her in anyway.

I'm sorry for my english. I am from the Netherlands. It's just... our medical forums aren't so well visited.

Thank you in advance... all serious reactions will be greatly appreciated.

Regards,

[beachbunn1986]

im anerexic and i know when i was wit my bf now hubby he was very concerened for me and even though i love him dearly its not always easy to flip that switch and just get better for the ones you love its just not that easy i wish it were the only advice i can give is dont push sometimes you may say or do things you feel are helpful but for anyone who has an ed we feel guilty all the time and shameful i know i do so just make sure your supportive but its really going to fall on her if she wants to get healthy  and if she does always know that relaspe is very much a possibility i got well in winter of 06-summer 07 but ed has returned and is harder then ever to get rid of   just know that no one with an eatig disorder does it to hurt anyone they love so dont take it personal just be there when she needs you and hopefully everything works out for the best my hubby has been by side through all of ed's ups and downs and now so its possible to be with some one who has this

[zigzag70]

This really saddens me b/c i'm on the flip side i'm bulimic and am in love w/ my fiance and he is the only one i have told about it. From my perspective i'm not sure there is much you can do, however, your gf has gone to a doctor already on this so my suggestion would be to encourage her and even go w/ her to a psychiatrist. She probably does not want her family knowing or anyone else for that matter, but i do not know her and know how she feels about it but if she was willing to tell a doctor once it makes me believe w/ your encouragement and help she may try and stop completely. It does really sadden me to read this though b/c i know that i have put my fiance in an awful position b/c i know he wants to help more than anything and i'm just not able to do that right now. It's hard to break a habit that has become your utter backbone, ya know? good luck i hope it works out for yall.

[BeeFree]

You sound very intelligent and supportive; something your girlfriend no doubt appreciates. You're right, it is her doing to heal herself and realize she is more than her physical appearance. My advice would just be to ask. Ask her what she needs of you to help her through the battle. She obviously trusts you enough to share this with you. Let her know she can be 100% honest and whatever it is she needs, you'll be there for her. She'll feel enormous relief knowing she can open up to you and you won't judge.
Again all I can say is ask her what she needs, and you can't go wrong. :-)

[Zoelula]

Your English is quite good! As for what you can do to help your girlfriend, you are right in your assmption that it is her who has to make the steps toward healthiness. Eating disorders are often about control, and it's a fine line between what is meant to be help, and what she might see as interference or attempts to control her. What you can do is be supportive. Of let her how much you care and how much you admire her (for everything, not just looks). The best way to offer help (to anyone, actually) is to say "how can I help?" To never presume you know what is best, but to ask her what she needs from you. And if she talks about getting help, to reassure her that is a good idea and it will make her life so much better.