Going crazy? So confused...

I am a 34 year old mother of 3.  A year and a half ago I had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis.  But I guess all my weight loss started after my youngest child was born... I was 140 lbs and had never been so heavy.  I felt disgusting and starting hating food.  I dropped 10 lbs. like it was nothing.  Then another 10 lbs. came off.  I started eating just half portions of whatever there was on my plate.  That was about 2 years ago now.  I fluxuate between 103 and 110 lbs and I am 5'6" tall.  I hardly eat.  When I make food, and I do cook for my family, all I can manage is a couple of bites before I start feeling sick.  I have never done binge/purge eating.  I have never been bulimic.  Everyone comments on my weight - how skinny I am.  All I see is that stupid pooch I have from my pregnancies that won't go away.  I wear a size 0 - I wasn't that small in high school.  The other day I put on my watch and it was really loose on my wrist and I remember thinking someone must have added a link to it to mess with me.  I don't know what to do.  I am so confused... I am always cold and I shake all the time.  I am scared to tell anyone - what will they think??  Miss Perfect has cracked??

[shlee1016]

They will think that you are a strong individual for seeking help and recognizing that you have a problem. It sounds like you know you are too thin. I can hear it in your post. You know things aren't right. My guess is that people are picking up on it if you are being finicky with food, clothes fitting differently, etc. etc. Nobody's perfect, and if this is the image you portray, you aren't fooling anyone. You will gain more respect by reaching out for help. You don't have to go around telling everybody either. I don't mean you should tell all your acquaintances and such. Getting help involves having a support system though, maybe family or close friends. This secrecy is all part of your e.d. Eating disorders are all secrets and lies. Do you have health insurance? It might be a good idea to find a therapist in your area that specializes in eating disorders and give them a call..set up an appointment. What do you think?