Help for my 13 yearold daughter

[heather102407]

My daughter will be 13 next month,  for the past few weeks, she seems to be obsessed about the way she looks.  I know that that is somewhat normal, but she is very thin.  You can see just about every bone in her body.  She has always been active, has been in track the past 2 years.  Last night she was sitting on the couch and she had 3 different boxes of cereal, I asked her what she was doing, and she said she seeing looking at all the fat and calorie contents of each one.  My younger sister has been anorexic for 20 years, I have been through all sorts of classes, meetings, support groups, but this seems to be different.  She was crying today saying she was so thin, but that she was scared to eat, she said it makes her stomach sick.  I don't know what to do, we both need some major help!

Thank You,

Heather Lloyd

[Warped_Reflections]

well you said your younger sister has been anorexic for 20 years, is she in recovery? cause if she is, she might have suggestions for things you can do to help your daughter.

also since from the experince with your sister, you understand the seriousness of an eating disorder. maybe you should talk to your daughter about going to see a therapist.
the sooner your daughter gets help, the better.

[shlee1016]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Is this the first thing you have noticed her doing that would be a sign of an eating disorder? I agree with the post above me. Maybe you could ask her if she would want you to take her for help. You wouldn't have to even mention the word eating disorder. If there's a dietitian that specializes in your area maybe? Does your daughter know that your sister struggles with an eating disorder?

[Zoelula]

All good suggestions! Your daughter is young and if she gets help now it can prevent years of misery. I agree that her aunt might be a good resource and support IF she is in recovery. Good for you for taking this seriously and seeing the early warning signs that a problem is developing that can have serious impact on your daughter's health. Your family doctor might be a place to start for an assessment and referral, but I generally recommend seeing a therapist who is experienced with eating disorders.

[Rach878]

Hello
I'm sorry to hear that it sounds like your daughter may have an eating disorder, but at the same time i am very happy. I was 13 when i first developed an eating disorder and no one noticed. I am almost 19 now, and am only just starting the process toward recovery. The past 7 years have been a hell i hope that your daughter can be spared from. I would like to say that i think your a great mom for noticing the first signs. You may be able to rescue her from a terrible fate.
I agree with all the above posts, on taking her for help. It sounds like she knows she is too skinny, but is afraid of eating, which i'm sure you know is a common symptom of anorexia. Have you noticed a weight change? I know you said she's always been skinny, but is she more skinny than usual?

[heather102407]

I would not say that my sister is "in recovery", but she does eat, but at the same time is obsessive about working out, she goes to the gym 7 days a week for at least an hour.  I think she is wise about what she eats, but also so much damage has been done to her body (and mind) that I don't know how objective she can be.  My daughter is easily influenced and she knows everything my sister has been through, but sometimes I think that my sister scares her because she dwells on certain things my sister says, I don't know, maybe Morgan takes them out of context.  I did make Morgan an appointment with our family doctor for next thursday, I want to rule out anything being wrong with her stomach because she said she always gets sick after eating.  She called me at work today about 10 times saying that she was so thin that she thinks she is going to die.  So all this adds to my stress, I just tell her that I would never let her die and try to be as understanding and helpful as possible.  I also tell her that her body is going through changes from childhood to be a young lady and that we'll work it out together.

[Warped_Reflections]

I dont mean to sound rude but maybe you should keep your daughter away from your sister at least for a little while. Being around healthy people will be a really good thing for your daughter.
I am glad to hear you made an appointment for your daughter. She is lucky to have a mother like you who is concerned for her well being. It is a good idea to rule out any physical medical problems first.
It sounds like your daughter does know something is wrong since she is calling you a lot with concerns about her weight. Please please make sure to keep open communication between you and your daughter because if she does have an eating disorder that fact that she is willing to confide in you about her worries is a very good step in the right direction.