I can tell that I'm heading down a road of distruction but I just can't stop myself because I'm PETREFIED if I do I'll gain a bunch of weight and become even more fat! What am I supposto do??? HELP!!!!!!

Since last Thursday When I weighed my self all I've been able to think about is how to keep the weight off and lose more! The thing is I can see myself heading down a bad road and not to metion unhealthy but I just can't stop. If I stop I'll gain weight and I am petrefied of gaining weight! I'm not sure how much I weigh now because since Thursday I've been doing extreme workouts for an hour everynight with a sweatshirt and hous coat on so I sweat more. But tonight when I was done my shirt was soaked. And I told a pastor the one guy I trust withhold all thus information and he told me ya sure it doesent hurt to exersise but mabey for me only 15-20 minutes (without the sweatshirt) and I usualy listion to him because I trust him so much! But I just can't to it this time. Because if I stop exersising for an hour with the sweatshirt I'll gain weight and anyways I'm hoping to work my way up to 2 hours a night! Thouh I felt sick tonight but that just made me push myself harder not to slow down or ela I qouldnet burn as many calories! I don't want go down this road but I just can't stop myself because I'm petrefied I'll gain a bunch of weight and become even fatter than I already am. I am 5 foot 10 and weight 150 (well that was last Thursday when I checked anyways) and I know I am not over weight but I can't stand my stumic! Oh and don't worry I am drinking LOTS of water because I know if I drink alot of water I can litterly pee my weight off like Tyra Banks did! I drink 3 Beer mugs full of water a night (well I think my parents said their beer mugs I don't know because I don't drink) and I'm not even sure I have a eating disorde because I haven't talked to a doctor and don't plan on it because I don't want my Mum to know! I just really want to be happy and I klcan see this road I'm going down is not a good one but I can't bring my self to get off the road what am I supposto do??? HELP!!!!!!!!!

[Zoelula]

You need to get help. This is not going to get better, it is only going to get worse. Get help. Tell your pastor you are in trouble and need more help than he can give. He will understand. You keep asking over and over, "what should I do?" That is what you should do. Nothing will change until you do that.

[Bran_Bran]

Ya I know I need to get help. Just part of me tells me if I do I won't be able to lose the weight and I'll become even more fat! But ya I know I need to. I just have to push my self to get it!

[confused26911]

Bran_Bran- I feel the same way and I actually just posted my fears. I always knew my extreme dieting was not healthy, but I am too afraid to let up or back down on exercise because I am scared to see the scale not move downward or even worse move up. I do almost 3 hours a day exercise and today was my eye opener. I passed out at the swimming pool and going through that was the scariest thing I have ever experienced. It wasn't just fall and wake up. It was different stages and felt like a hour before I fianlly passed out. Dizziness, un able to breath, trying hard to stay awake and going blind right before. I thought I was dying. All of this infront of at least 10 people and the saddest part is my children and my BFF's children saw it all. That part is what I am so ashamed of. I know I need help, I just don't know where to start. It is easy to tell someone to go to a therpist, but I have NO insurance and am a stay at home mom with my child with disabilities. I can admit I have a problem here, but am scared to death to tell people face to face. I am so afraid of not lossing more weight that I actually cry myself to sleep. I am still far from bones. At first I didn't think it was a huge problem because I have a set goal. Not like I want to continue after, but the closer i am to that goal the more I want to change it. So I understand your feelings and I know we are both wrong, but what are we to do?

[Bran_Bran]

I haven't exersised for the past few daysandni feel discusting for it I honk I'm going back to my routine tonight!!!! So I don't know what to do either!!! I just am petrefied that since I dident exersise the past few days I'll gain a bunch of weight. I don't want to be any fatter than I already am
!