I'm scared I'm going to die

I am 35 years old i am bulimic i never had a problem with my weight until my child was born in 2005 since then i have been throwing up when i eat. I am so afraid. I just want to stop doing this and be healthy i try and it just never works out. it consumes me. despite the bulimia i have gained 20 pounds in the last 6 months. i researched the effects of bulimia and it scares me. i want to be here for my son. i dont want him to lose his mom. he means the world to me. can someone please give me some advice on how to self help. i lost my job in sept 08 and my health insurance so i cant get medical help. please help if you can?

[Zoelula]

Hi Lisa

I'm so glad you posted and I want you to know that you can recover from this disease! I have been in recovery for 15 years and at one time my life was controlled by my bulimia. Do you qualiffy for  Medicaid? Many people with children do. That would be a way to get medical help, which is very important for someone with bulimia.

But one immediate source of totally free help is OA. It is a twelve step program for people with eating disorders. Please look in your phonebook under Overeater's Anonymous and you will get a number to call and find a meeting near you. This is a source of support that can help you and get you on the path to recovery.
All my best,
Zoe

[rheea]

Hi Lisa,
I understand how you feel.  I have been fighting this for over 30 years.  I am now 45 and I realize the toll it has taken on me.  I agree with Zoe,about OA.   I had joined OA and that did help me for awhile.  I believe that this "thing" is both mental and physical problem, therefore  it must be fought on both fields.  OA is a great tool for the mental aspect as for the physical  I am using topamax  to fight this.  I beleive that this will always be part of my life, whether I am "using" or not, it will be something that I will have to guard against.  I find in times of great stress (like now)  it tends to be more prevalent.  Anyhow, do take some potassium supplements and B complex especially B 12 and Fish Oil.  That will help both your body and mind.   The potassium is VERY important
You are far, far, far from alone
Let me know.