I'm tired of the scale ruling my life, what can I do???

Alright I'm really just realizing I have a problem. To explain here's what I just wrote in my journal.
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Saturday May 21st 2011
:( I am tired of the scale ruling my life! I just weighed myself and as I was waiting for it to load and tell me my weight, I just felt so small and helpless to the scale. 
I know it's night and it's not my true weight but seeing what it just gave me being a healthy weight kills. Right now I truly believe for me in order to have any worth or to be pretty at all I have to be underweight. Which I guess I still am since that's not my true weight. But I just feel so small and worthless. 
The scale has made it's self the thing that rules my life. I do ANYTHING to make that number go down  

Until now I never really believed I have a problem. I knew this wasn't right but I didn't believe it. I believed and do believe that this is just what needs to be done. 
But I realize now that this is a problem and I see how helpless and small I am to it! :(
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What can I do??? I want to start fighting this, but I won't let myself start fighting until I have a diagnoses. Which means I need to lose at least 10 pounds before I can get better.
I don't even know why I need the diagnoses I just know I do. I guess I need it to really know I have a problem. To prove it to me, so I have nothing left to hide behind!

[ParamedFlorena]

Bran_bran - I recognize your nickname from other posts. Keep on posting. This is definitely what MH is for and what this forum is about: Support!

You know what I do? I let the clothes-size run my life. Perhaps that's better than climbing the scale every morning and every evening to see where you're at? I recently got my uniform-size changed from a 34 (european) to a 36 and it feels quite ok. One day I'll be a medium 38, just a bit of doubt left this far. I don't know how you'd think about it, but the scale in my house is packed away and "doesn't exist" until I decide to check it just once in a lazy while. If you consider it as not present, it helps you quite a lot. (It was a trick my parents ran on me when I was at the worst with my bulimia/anorexia) but now I see the freedom of not letting the numbers run your life.

You don't need to fight this - you just have to accept and face what is (maybe you just feel comfortable with a certain weight?). I know that I feel it catching up on me when the diet gets too uncomfortable. We are what we eat... Diet, veggies and activity - that's what we all are...

For the better days,
Florena