Is it bad that I would rather be way under weight then the weight I am now because at least I'd be skinny and have a flat stumic

I would rather be under weight then then the weight I am now because at least I would be skinny and have a flat stumic.

It's weird the number on the scale is going down but I swear I'm just getting fatter. Everyone sais it looks like I've lost lots of weight. My friend said she thinks it looks like I lost 20lbs I've only lost albs I wish I had lost 20lbs I would only have 4lbs to go instead I have 16lbs to go. And I hate it I wish the weight would just go away over night without leaving excess skin. I dint care what I have to do I want a flat stumic. I don't get it though why is it the number on the scale is going down but I'm getting fatter??? And how bad is it that I would rather be under weight so I can be skinny???

[Bran_Bran]

I am shamed if the part of me that says that because I know it's wrong and I don't want to be bony but part of me doesn't care but I dint want to be bony. Any adivise???

[ParamedFlorena]

Hi Bran_Bran,

I just want to toss in a few cents. I hope that it helps some. I've been in your situation and it was the worst time ever of my life. One side of me wanted to control food, while the other side constantly told me to be reasonable. It is a personal war, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Being very thin or not being very thin and rather striving for to be healthy thin. To exercise moderately, an hour every 2nd day rather than exercising vigorously 7 days a week....

For us who battle the food, it is about removing the fears - to dare to eat more than one meal a day, to dare to take care of ourselves, right?

Food and fear isn't equal, or it shouldn't be. I actively tried to loose weight for several years until I finally figured I was just pulling myself through self-torture. I'd loose some weight, but in just a week I'd have gained it again. I had to step up on the scale and say "If it goes above that number, I'm doing something, but if it's just 200 grams it's not worth the torture".

I had to start being realistic and hoenst with myself, dare to admit that I was loosing control - and dare to admit that yes it was ok to loose control.

Perhaps this just sounds like rambling, and partially it is. Take the fear out of food. Eat every 4th-5th hour (that's when your bloodsugar is starting to drop, causing you anxiety), and give your body what it needs. It doesn't help to eat every 2nd day only. Aggressive diets cause your body to store up on what little it gets. If you one day should slip out and over-eat, your body still stores it in case it doesn't get anything in a while, and it casues you to gain weight.
Regular meals Bran_Bran, that is the solution. Regular meals and moderate exercise. It is going to be tough enough at times to keep to it, but you win - instead of constantly pulling yourself through diet after diet and loosing time on time again.

I think it's the best advice I can give right now. Learn about serving sizes, get educated about healthy eating and healthy exercising.

Lots of care,
Florena

[Bran_Bran]

When I decided lose weight in late May or early June it was because I relize my weight is the only thing about myself I can fix and that my parents can't take away wright loss. But as it went on I started hating my body more and more at first it was my stumic now I'm starting to hate my thighs to. In July I even starvedmyself for 2 days but immediately stopped when I read it would slow my matablizm Dow so I would gain weight in the long run and that can't happen cuz I'm petrified of gaining weight

[ParamedFlorena]

Hi again,

I guess we women can always find something we dislike about ourselves. I can chose to panic as soon as my pants get a little tighter - and I guess it is going to take some work to change the hate to acceptance. It is one of the things you'll learn during cognitive behavioral therapy by the way: To attack the self-criticism before it attacks you.

My killer-beliefs were:

•I am worthless
•I don't deserve happiness in my life
•I don't like myself
•I don't love myself
•I am not a good person

But.... I learnt to listen more carefully and there the answers were: I had put myself in the worst thinkable jail where I was the only judge.

If you have killer-beliefs, listen carefully and dare to hear the positives. Be as specific as you can. You DO deserve the very best and you DO deserve to believe it too. Make the positive thinking a daily workout. It'll make a positive difference in your life.

All the best,
Florena

[Bran_Bran]

Yes I do have those beliefs.

Though I am not in counseling. Want to be because I know I need it but am not