Is it possible to get better on your own?

I've had anorexia/bulimia for 8 years. I've tried self recovery before. Before I had my son, I stopped purging as much as I could. I did over eat but I thought that would be normal as I tried to get used to how much would satisfy me. After years of throwing up, I really didn't know anymore. Well I balooned up but I got pregnant so I stopped worrying about the weight till after I had him. And literally the day after I had him I started thinking about losing weight and felt so ugly and fat. Even while I was pregnant I would get depressed about how big I was, but I did not throw up or restrict at all while pregnant. I was super healthy, eating everything good and taking vitamins. I was actually very happy over all. I miss it. Well anyway, after I had him I lost all the baby weight and more in just 3-4 months. I did that by hardly eating and bingeing once or twice a day and throwing it all up. Then a year later I got pregnant again and gained like ten pounds in a month. Well I ended up losing that pregnancy, and since then have had a tough time with my weight. Its fluctuated anywhere between 115-142 at the highest most recently. I'm 5'6". My point is, can I do this by myself. I'm still throwing up. I tried not eating as much so I don't have to throw up, but it just feels like everything in my stomach just sitting there and it bothers me. I know its all in my head, but its so hard. I just can't handle eating food. I don't know, I'm very depressed. I recently quit drinking because I also have a problem with that. It feels like I"m either eating nothing or everything. Maybe because I'm quiting drinking too, but I just have this insaitable urge to eat something, but I don't know what it is. That must be the alcohol urge. I don't want to drink, I really hate alcohol, but I'm thinking this must be part of that too. Okay well I'm a big mess. I guess I'm just looking to see if anyone else has gone through what I'm going through? And made it out okay? I know I can do it, but its soooooooooo hard.

[beachbunn1986]

hello, im really sorry your having such a hard time  i too have anerexia (anorexia)/bulimea  iv had i for 13 yrs.  your story is similar t mine   i weighed 79 pounds 5 yrs ago and my then boyfriend (now hubby)    helped me get better it was really hard  i felt huge and discusting  in dec of 06 i found out i was pregnant  i ate and ate and was rather happy but like you once i had hi it was a mission to loose the weight.  but i did it in a healthy way i was eating normally and somewhat happy  then in 08 i had 2 miscarriages   and then 2 more miscarriages in 09 and yet another in may of this year  the pain has really gotten to me and unfortunitly i relaspesed in july i weighed  133  now i think i weigh maybe 110 . i  know its possible to get better its very hard and you will have your mess ups,  i myself am trying to get better again i have too for my son i cant leave him .  my advice is to try and eat 5 or 6 tiny meals throughout the day  start slow  when you feel yur getting full stop eating i find laying down for  alittle while takes the anxiousness out of having food in your stomach.  your going to have moments where you feel yu cant do it.  try and push through it.   i find sitting with my hubby helps just talking to him takes my mind off things.  you can do this it wont be easy but life isnt always easy you have to get better for your child.  we'll get better together :)   if you need anything just send me a note or msg at anytime

[beachbunn1986]

hello, im really sorry your having such a hard time  i too have anerexia (anorexia)/bulimea  iv had i for 13 yrs.  your story is similar t mine   i weighed 79 pounds 5 yrs ago and my then boyfriend (now hubby)    helped me get better it was really hard  i felt huge and discusting  in dec of 06 i found out i was pregnant  i ate and ate and was rather happy but like you once i had hi it was a mission to loose the weight.  but i did it in a healthy way i was eating normally and somewhat happy  then in 08 i had 2 miscarriages   and then 2 more miscarriages in 09 and yet another in may of this year  the pain has really gotten to me and unfortunitly i relaspesed in july i weighed  133  now i think i weigh maybe 110 . i  know its possible to get better its very hard and you will have your mess ups,  i myself am trying to get better again i have too for my son i cant leave him .  my advice is to try and eat 5 or 6 tiny meals throughout the day  start slow  when you feel yur getting full stop eating i find laying down for  alittle while takes the anxiousness out of having food in your stomach.  your going to have moments where you feel yu cant do it.  try and push through it.   i find sitting with my hubby helps just talking to him takes my mind off things.  you can do this it wont be easy but life isnt always easy you have to get better for your child.  we'll get better together :)   if you need anything just send me a note or msg at anytime

[zilly84]

Wow! Thank you so much. Its really great to hear from someone that knows what i'm going through. The past few days have been rough. I just need some self control. Every time I eat, I freak out. I was doing better, but now its like how I used to be. I just can't eat with out freaking out. But today is almost over and tomorrow is a new day. I'm sure tomorrow will be better than today was. My boyfriend was gone all day, so its harder for me to be good when i'm alone. When he's with me I eat more. I will try harder! :D

[beachbunn1986]

im glad i could help,  just remember take it slow  even if its only a bite at a time   i take 3 bites and feel overly stuffed then get anxious  so i started making smoothies  it seems to be helping and im really trying to do better since my period is now 3 days late  so i may be pregnant but its really reALLY HARD!!!!  :)   try to stay positive ttyl