I think I have a problem with food.....in my teenage years and in my 20's, I was a diet pill popper, a meal skipper and on every fad diet in the world. I got the EDNOS diagnosis and a few short-lived stints in therapy. Fast forward a decade and I'm now a binge eater and a purger....I get rid of the excess calories by exercising as much as my body allows--daily for about an hour......I get depressed and anxious if I miss a day and even exercised with sprained ankles.
I started vomiting a few months ago but only have done it a handful of times as I know it's a killer for your teeth.....the Metformin I'm on lets the food come up easier, I believe, and I blamed the Metformin for vomiting instead of admitting that I ate until I got sick. People began pointing out I had a problem but refused to believe it until the other day, when I binged at a buffet and then puked two minutes after dessert was finished. All I want to do is go back to the buffet and pig out......keep telling myself I won't get sick afterwards.
I have health problems---thyroid and adrenals have tanked; I have pre-diabetes and a sluggish heart function and I'm swollen all over. Gained a lot of weight from all this....forever depressed.
I am 34yrs old and I have had food issues since I was 15.
It started off with me staving myself until I was probably 20 and then I starting binging and purging.
By the time I was 27 I realized that I had serious issues and told a friend in which told me to talk to my doctor. I did and I was put on antidepressents (wellbutrin) which helped with the depression but not the food issues.
I was scared that I would die from purging so instead I just started binging all the time at night when my daughter was asleep.
I have Endometriosis and I have had 3 bowel surgeries so I have severe bowel issues and for 3 yrs I had to use enemas 3 times a week just to go until I had surgery. However I tried to make myself believe it was the bowel issues that made me have to do the enemas when in reality yes it helped but the real reason I was doing them was because it made me feel so much better and not bloated or fat. I could purge it that way.
I have been obsessed with food my whole life. When I am sad I eat, when I am depressed I eat, when I am angry I eat etc.
My whole family has issues with food but I am the only one to admit I have a problem. We were forced when we were younger to eat everything that was on our plate and if we didn't we would have to sit there for hours upon hours until we did. Food was always a big factor in my life. I realized to this day that my mother and father would hide food from us so they could binge later.
Because of the Endometriosis there are certain diets that I need to be on which is hard for me because its like I can't eat anything and if I do it I only end up lasting the most 3 months then I get crazy and binge like mad.
I have seen a therapist and that is what I would suggest with you. It has really helped me a lot.
I realize that I do these things because I am in pain inside. I was neglected and abused in every way as a child so when I get anxiety, fear, sadness I turn to food to help me cope.
For me my crutches are wine, food and smoking. The worst combo.
I am getting there day by day and in two months I have only used an enema twice. I try not to be so concerned with food and just eat when I am hungry but it is hard when all you think about is food 24/7.
I have adrenal problems as well and I am being tested for Hashimoto disease. I also have low B-12 and I am taking injections for that and I feel so much better.
I think your health problems like mine are due to the eating disorder as well as anxiety and stress.
I constantly live in fight/flight mode since being a child and I think that is what killed my hormones and caused them to go all crazy and fail.
I get hypoglycemic episodes as well as low blood pressure.
I am a walking heart attack and it scares the crap out of me.
I am looking for another therapist now to help me deal with the emotions I have and the Post traumatic stress that plagues me.
I can only suggest you find a therapist because I can honestly say it helps.
Also I read toxic parents and how to heal your inner child and those both helped with the healing process. Sometimes we don't realize how the past molding our future but it does. The inner child book made me realize that I hate myself so much for things that I shouldn't now I am on a mission to explore and understand more about my inner child so that I can heal.
I am not a doctor just a person who has suffered and gone through hell and back and I am finally seeing that there is more to life than caring about what people thing. The journey has been long but I am now at a point where I have some joy and happiness and it is real not fake like it used to be to make people happy. I removed all the negative people in my life and that made a huge difference.
So tell me what hurts so much inside to make you do this?
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.