Is this really to little calories??? How will it affect me???

Calorie chart
- Sunday December 19th 2010
866 calories
- Tuesday December 21st 2010
600 calories 
- Thursday December. 23rd 2010
372 calories 
- Friday December 24th 2010
424 calories + KFC dinner
-Monday December 27th 2010
420 calories + a box of chocolates aka to much to count cuz I'm a FAT ASS 
- Thursday December 30th 2010
212 calories + nachos 
Thursday December 31st 2010
- 468 calories
- Thursday January 6th 2011
300-400 calories
- Friday January 7th 2011
500-600 calories
Saturday January 8th 2011
850-930 calories =(
- Sunday January 9th 2011
700-800 calories

I can't eat anymore than I already do. I find eating extremely depressing. If I even eat 800-900 calories in a day my day is ruined. And all I can bring myself to do is lay in bed and think of how fat I'll become because of all the calories and think of what a failure I am.

I can't bring myself to eat 1000 calories in a day. If I were to eat that much I know I would tempted to take my life. I wouldn't give in into the temptation because of a promise but still that's how low food makes me feel.

My councilor told me yesterday if I keep losing weight she's going to have to take me to the doc herself and I think that's means my parents would be informed :(

Anyways how is eating so little going to affect me. Latly the norm seems to be 600-730 cories a day. I wish it could be lower but I don't have a choice as to what I have for dinner! :(

[BeeFree]

Hi BranBran

I know it's hard. What helped me push through my fear of gaining weight was understanding more about how the body works. The fact is this: you are not going to get "fat" if you eat a diet consisting of lean protein, fruits/veggies and complex carbs. I was struggling with anorexia as well and when I experimented with different kids of foods, I got to see how it literally looks on my body. Eating excess sugar and fats and white carbs will not show up nicely on your body. Nourishing your body with protein, minerals and vitamins WILL. I started slowly incorporating chicken breasts, fish, turkey, eggwhites or alternatives (if you're vegetarian) and I'm not lying to you-- I loved how it was looking on my body. It won't happen overnight. But little by little you'll see how much more beautiful a body is with muscle tone. Focus on the benefits from eating a healthy diet. And recognize that this is YOUR life and YOU decide how it goes. Do you want to self-destruct your whole life? Do you deserve this? No. Absolutely not. You know you're far more than you're appearance. You truly can have it all-- a happy life, a beautiful body and peace of mind. But it's up to you.
Start today and build a diet that you can feel good about.
Here's a good start:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup cooked oats with whatever you like in it-- blueberries, cinnamon and milk, unsweetened applesauce, etc.
OR 2-egg omelette with whatever you like in it (light cheese or red and green peppers)
Snack: Unlimited raw veggies or fruit salad
Lunch: Salad with grilled chicken breast and balsamic vinegarette
Snack: Unlimited raw veggies/fruit or natural trail mix
Dinner: Ground turkey stirfry or baked salmon or another source of protein with a side of steamed veggies or baked sweet potato (much better for you than white potatoes.)
Snack as much as you like of raw fruits and veggies, and trail-mix is a great energy-booster.
This type of diet will not make you fat in the least-- you'll see. And because it's still quite low in calories, you can afford to have dessert when you like.
It's an easy transition from focusing on calories to focusing on a healthy diet instead.
The trick is to keep your head above water-- don't let yourself slip into that lonely, depressing mindset. That's not you and you know there's so much more to life than that. You can get there, but like I said, it's up to you.

If you need anything, I'm only an email away.
:-)

Brittany