I've lost 6 pounds over the last couple of mounths but now all I can think of is how to keep it off and lose more

[Bran_Bran]

Ok I don't think I have a eating disorder but I am trying to lose weight!

And I did starve my self for 2 days the only reason I stoped was cuz I read it will slow my matabalizm down and make me gain weight in the long run!

And yes I have lost 6 pounds and am happy with my progress but all I can think of now is how to keep the weight off and how to lose more!

This is why I'm am so excited to have gym all afternoon second semester this year cuz that will be at least 2:30 of exersise a day then when I get home I can do the work out mode on my Dance dance revelution (DDR) game so 3:30 of exersise a day well during the school week anyways!
Though my apatite has shrank majorly over the last year. I usto be able to eat 2 heaping plates of dinner every night now I can hardly eat 1. And my appatite shranke befor I starved my self for 2 days! At one point I would feel full litterly after 1 or 2 bites once again that was befor I starved me self for 2 days! I don't feel full after 1 or 2 bites anymore but I do feel full qiukly I can't even eat a full bowl of cereal anymore!

And I am petrefied of gaining weight!
But right now I am just trying to lose weight so I can have a flat stumic I am 5 foot 10 and weigh 150! Since I decided to start losing weight a a couple months ago I have lost 6 pounds well first I gained a pound put then lost 7 pounds! And I lost the last 4 pounds in the late couple weeks!

And I know I'm a healthy weight for my height but  I want to have a flat stumic but don't want to lose my hour glass figure!  My goal is 132-135 because that's the lowest I can go and still be healthy. But really I'm not sure how many pounds look like what so really as long as I have a flat stumic. But once I get the flat stumic I will still have to try to keep it off. I have been slim all my life 157 is the most I have ever weighed but like I said I want to have a flat stumic I want to be able to wear belly shirts and pull off the sporty look when I'm in a sporty mood! I don't like wearing belly shirts because I feel they look dumb on me because my stumic bulges out. It may only bulge the littles bit but it still does! I guess my belly button annoys me to because since it go's in it makes it look like your stumic sticks out!

[Bran_Bran]

I feel like I'm going to become even more fat then I already am because I was stupid and had a small price of pie and ice cream. I'm actualy thinking mabey I should throw it up it can't do that much damage if I only do it once right???

[Bran_Bran]

If I feel dizzy, light headed, and un balanced after an hour of playing DDR does this mean I may have worked my self to hard. Because even of o was out of breath feeling light beaded or un balanced during it I still continued and just pushed my self harder. Do you think I may have pushed my self to much I played the work out mode and I lost 452 calories just now doing that and earlyer I lost 164 calories playk g it earlyer a few hours befor is this healthy???

[Bran_Bran]

Is his un healthy I'm playing a dance dance revelution aka DDR and I am sweating and boiling hot but I refuse to take my long sleev shirt of because I know the more you sweat the more weight you lose. Is this ok or should I find another techneek???

[Bran_Bran]

I mean 132 is my goal because it's the lowest I can go and still be healthy according to the chart I found ob the Internet. Is it dangerous to be right on the border. Or to be 1 pound away from bring under weight. Because when I reach my goal that's were I'll be???

[Bran_Bran]

My goal is 132 by September 7th when school starts. Is this to low or to fast???

[Bran_Bran]

Ok I was just thinking mabey it was similar for most people. Though I'm not even sure I have a eating disorder or not because I haven't see a doctor and I don't see my doctor for another 5 months at least When I get more medication for my ADD. And even then I can't see myself mentining it especaly since my Mum will be in the room but I guess I'll wait and see.

[Zoelula]

Nobody can tell you what will happen at what schedule. But eating disorders always progress, they always get worse. You will go on like this until you decide to get help. Keep talking to the people you are talking to.

[Bran_Bran]

In grade 8 was the if I had amillion dollers

[Bran_Bran]

I guess I've been uncomfortable with my body since grade 7 or 8. And now that I think about it I think I became more conshes of my body in grade when I was on a bus for a school trip when if I had a million dollars came on the radio and the girl in front of me sang of I had a million dollers I would by you a new wardrobe, lyposuction ect. And I just though at the time your one to speak but I guess what she said made me start thinking about my body. Plus almost every sister of mine gained weight at about my age or when they were 14 or 15 I am 16. And I am terrified I'm going to gain weight! And my dream to sing helps me to keep losing weight because if I every make it into the music business they would be all over my weight. At the begging of the summer the 2 days that I starved my self I remember picking out out fits that made me feel fat so I would have that pushing me to continue!  And what will happen if I don't get help??? And how fast???

[Bran_Bran]

And plus my mum is always saying how skinny I am. She's nit saying I'm to skinny she says like when I try a shirt on or somthing shell say that's way to small. That smalll clothes even give skinny people like you roles! And I don't want to disapoint her!

[Bran_Bran]

What will happen if I don't get help???

[Bran_Bran]

I'm almost positive that my asthma is kicking in and I haven't told my mum about that either! I guess I don't really talk to her alot. I talk to her somtimes but not enouph to feel comfortable telling her! Though I did show a pastor and my youth pastor my journal because I'm going tree alot right now and need help. And here is a section in my journal about wanting to lose weight! Thouh when I showed my youth pastor she was more consernd about everything els I have written in there. And I don't blame her. Considering some of the thugs I've written about my self in there. One thi g I wrote in there is MOST of the time my weight dosent bother meits just that at least im fixing and controling one thing about myself and weight loss is the one thing my parents can't take away from me! And I can't see myself right now stoping trying to lose weight. Because I am extremly uncomfortable with my stumic. Especaly since I checked my weight at my friends on Thursday. My weight actualy hadent crossed my mind for a couple months and then I saw her scale and weighed myself a d bam it's all I can think about. And ya my mum would care I guess I am kinda embaressed and plus I don't think I should bring to much attention to it because it's probably not that serious.  I don't know what do you hink???

[Zoelula]

Good for you. Eating disorders can destroy your dream to sing and any other dreams you may have. They can take over your life and leave you nothing. It's up to you if you can keep yourself from trying to lose weight; if you can't then you need to get help. I understand about not wanting your mom to know, but she would want you to get help if you were sick in any other way wouldn't you? Eating disorders are sickness the same as asthma or diabetes or any other illness. You sound smart enough to know when you are headed for trouble so just watch your behavior. If you can find one person to confide in, preferably an adult you trust, that would help too. Sometimes we need another person's perspective to know when our behavior is out of control or headed that way.

[Bran_Bran]

If I mention it to my doctor then my Mum will know and i'm not comfortable with her knowing.

How bad can it get??? I'm not skipping meals
perpously now???

And I refuse to puke because it's my dream to sing and that would destroy my chances!

[Zoelula]

You don't have to live that way and it will only get worse with time, not better. I suggest asking your doctor for a referral to a therapist experienced with eating disorders. You can also attend meetings of OA that are given daily everywhere. Just look in the phonebook under Overeater's Anonymous. There you will find lots of support from people with all types of eating disorders. I waited many years to get into recovery and wish I'd done it sooner. I now have 16 years recovery and my life is so much better.

[Bran_Bran]

I find my self cringing at the thought of a freezy because Im scared I'll gain weight!

[Bran_Bran]

And befor when I had stake dinners I would always go for the biggest patato now I go for the smallest patato Because I don't want to gain weight abd stAke dinner is already big enouph!
And alot of the time befor I eat I feel fine when I look in the mirror but after I eat I feel fat as can be! And I feel like my stumic buldges out for miles! Even though I know it dosent! I just feel fat! And want to do somthing about it befor I realy am fat!

[Bran_Bran]

Well I already notice that even after losing 6 pounds all I can think of is how to keep it off and lose more so ya I get what your saying!

[Zoelula]

You say you don't have an eating order, but you seem very obsessed with diet, weight and exercise which could certainly be the beginning of one. Be careful. You may think all you want is a flat stomach to wear a certain type of clothes, but you may find yourself with an obsession that will take up your every spare moment and get worse and worse.

[Bran_Bran]

During the summer I don't usualy eat lunch just cuz I don't get to it and when I do it's just some tprtia chips and salsa and sour cream for dip. Is this bad???

[Bran_Bran]

Forgot important information
though I don't usualy care about my weight it's just that at least I'm fixing and controling one thing about my self! And weight loss is the one thing my parents can't take away from me! If I don't let them know I'm trying to lose weight!