Purging

I need to know what to do. I suspect my wife has an eating disorder. I noticed in the last 4 years she been purging her food almost everynight after a meal. She suspects I know because I tried several times for her to admit it but she denies the topic.I know for a fact she still does it because I've seen her do it. ( I was spying on her which I feel bad about it, but I needed to know for my self.). I tried to ignore it for a while but it bothers me that I know her routines and I'm afraid for her.What should I do. please help.

[Zoelula]

Yes, it most certainly sounds like she has an eating disorder and has had it for awhile. Unfortunately they only get worse. Unfortunately also, it is very hard for someone on the outside to help a person with an eating disorder, even if it is her husband, most especially her husband. The only thing you can do is reassure her you have known for awhile and are not shocked or disgusted, only concerned. That you love her no matter what. That it is an illness like any other illness and that if she had diabetes or asthma you would want her to go to the doctor for treatment. Well there is treatment for eating disorders too; she can ask her doctor for referral to a therapist who works with eating disorders. Recovery is possible, I have 16 years recovery from my own eating disorder. Approach her as gently and as lovingly as you can but let her know you won't ignore her need for help. Eating disorders are a disease of secrecy, so it is going to be hard for her to "come clean". If necessary, you might even write your feelings out in a letter and leave it for her, maybe with some pamphlets about eating disorders. Encourage her to get treatment but let her know you will stand by her. Good luck.

[beachbunn1986]

as a wife and mother who has an ed  there isnt a hole lot you can do my hubby did this to me when i was really sick he said he would take me to the hospital and leave me and whatever they decided to do would be up to them  shockingly this worked  i gained weught and got better unfortunetly some stresses and other issues have caused me to relaspe i think the only real thing you can do is be there for her find out why she feels the need to do this    she may have had an ed for a long time before you found out its something that is very hard to  get rid of iv had ed most of my life   she may be willing to go to therapy or an out patient or maybe even im patient therapy .     dont push though eating disorders are very much a comfort zone and she may feel your invading her privacy or trying to take her ed away, alot of people in my life tend to blame themselves fof my problem but it has nohting to do with our loved ones it s about how we feel and maybe theres been trauma you dont know about or other feelings shes holding back from you so just talk to her    also people with ed including myself feel guilty and shameful for the things we do with  our ed. im sure your wife loves you dearly and i hope she can get help