Recovering Bulimic (laxative abuser)

[londonfog]

Hey guys! I wanted to ask a few questions regarding my recovery. For about 2 years I was at my healthiest and strongest in my life. I am 5'2 and weighed 103-106lbs on any given day. I ran every single day except for the weekends and was very particular about eating. At this point in time I hadn't even considered laxatives because well I was happy and healthy and fit. That is until last summer when I started gaining weight without any cause. During the 3 months I had of summer I went up from my usual 104 to 109. I was constipated and was continuing my normal exercise and eating healthy. I went to the doctor about the constipation and was told to take a laxative. This is where my problems began. I started with just 1 every couple of days to help my bowels move and realized that I was losing weight from it and felt skinnier. I continued my exercising but I had just started college so my healthy eating wasn't as healthy as before. Even though I abused laxatives for this past year I have gone from my original healthy 104lbs to 113lbs and feel disgustingly huge. My stomach is thick and I can't run as much as I used to.
So after reading and reading others' stories about laxative abuse I decided to stop since it wasn't working any way. So last Thursday was my last day of taking the pills which at that point had gotten up to about 20 every night. I was 109 Thursday and now (today being Wednesday) I weight 114. I haven't been eating any more than I usually would. I know there will be temporary weight gain but I just need to know that it will go away. That maybe one day I will get back to my 104lbs of healthiness and fitness... I had my first bowel movement yesterday without laxatives but it was definitely hard and a struggle. I was wondering how much weight any of you guys gained after withdrawing from laxatives and when did it go away? Was there anything that helped keep the weight down? Did you ever get back to you desired weight? Or will I always be this chubby now....?
Thanks to those who find the time to answer. I am desperate at this point and have no one to talk to about my problems. My laxative abuse has been a secret from everyone close to me. No one knows about this side of me. No one even guessed I had an eating disorder, just that I was picky about health.

[SoBieNERD]

Oh my word ... I hear you. I have a similar problems and alone and all in secret. I shall get back to shortly with some advice and thoughts if that's okay.