Serious Help

[SuzyW]

I am 56, 5'4", and weighed 89 a month ago.  My Dr. is constantly on me and wants me to drink Ensure.  I have MS and my husband has emphysema, we only draw disability and are poor, can't afford any good food or the Ensure.  Nothing sounds good to eat, I usually only eat supper and could do without that if needed.  My kids also ride me alot and I know it's rooted in love but now I am starting to be concerned, money is so tight there's stress all the time and I know from previous anorexia problems that, for me at least, its all about control.  Everything in my life seems to be spinning out of control, not eating helps me control SOMETHING, but I understand that is SICK thinking.  I know not eating is my own, private little 'game', like I'm getting away with being rebellious, what am I, 16???  I have to get some help.  My Dr. has threatened to hospitalize me and feed me via a drip if I don't gain weight.  I am embarrased and guilty over this, I am picking my eating disorder over my kids and grandkids!  I will enter the hospital if that is what I need to do.  Opinions please?

[cassy_beth]

hi ia m 5'4 and weigh 80 lbs i have trouble with everything and i know its easier said than done but i think that if you have a family you shouldnt think about what you look like are trying to control things... you should live every day to it fullest and cherish every moment.

[Zoelula]

Hi Suzy

Yes, you seem to have the awareness that you suffer from an eating disorder. With your medical problems you can't afford to take those kinds of risk with your health. You need to ask your doctor to refer you to an eating disorder program or to a therapist experienced in ED.

[hapybratt]

I am new to this community and have the same exact issue as you. I am 46, 5' and 85lbs on a good day.  Seeing a therapist is not something I can do because I haven't the money to pay for one.  I really wish I could answer your question, but I too have not found a solution.  I have been scrawny my entire life and as you, eat only dinner and its not a necessary meal for me either.  I have for the past few months started going down hill health wise from years of starvation. I had no idea I was anorexic until my body started telling me I was.  I have always wanted to have a little more weight on me but my eating habits have always been in the way of that.  I can not change this issue and would give anything to be able too.  Not eating has always been a good stress reliever for me too.  It makes no since to see it written down but its true.  I have tried drinking weight gain products but then I'm to full  to eat real food so had no luck with that. Keeping in mind that money is an issue.  If someone out there has any answers it would surely be appreciated by us both.  

[Zoelula]

You can't afford NOT to take care of your health! And yes, recovery from eating disorders is possible; I have 15 years recovery and have known many other people who were treated as well.

Here are some possibilities for treatment: I don't know where you are located, but in the U.S. all counties are required to provide mental health services for clients with limited funds and who receive Medicaid. Look in the phonebook under Mental Health. Also, though it isn't the ideal option, your personal doctor can treat eating disorders as well and again, there are free medical services available. Finally, I strongly recommend OA, Overeater's Anonymous and that is FREE! Look in the phonebook under Overeater's Anonymous to find a meeting near you. Don't be fooled by the name, it is open to people with all types of eating disorders and there you will find acceptance and support. If you want help you can find it.