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When I become depressed (which comes in goes in almost predictable waves) I can't stop binging. The funny thing is how wonderful I feel when the food is actually in my mouth. I can feel guilty and disgusted with myself for how much I've eaten, but as soon as the food hits my tongue, I feel happy, almost subversive. But it lasts only as long as the food is in my mouth. As soon it's gone, the guilt hits and the worse that feels, the more the answer seems to be "eat more!" How can I stop it before it starts?
Since you say that your binging seems to go along with depression, heidi, you might want to get assessed to see if you are clinically depressed and if so treat it with medications and therapy. Depression and eating disorders are very often connected and it is hard to treat one without treating the other.
thanks for responding. I have taken medication in the past, but I had a seizure from a wellbutrin OD a year ago, and I've been trying to go drug free. I'm trying to eat well & exercise when I feel good, but keep reminding myself that the highs don't last forever and not to be too upset when I hit a low. I am getting better, but if I could stop the crazy eating I think I could get through the lows faster.
Hi Heidi, What's going on in your head when you seek food for comfort? For me, I had no idea until I learned to pause for a second and write down/type what I was thinking or feeling. At first I didn't know, and that was okay. I would just type "I don't know" until something flowed. What came out was an absolute deluge of negative thoughts swirled with anxiety about both past and future events. I still allowed myself to binge if I liked, but most of the time after I got all that out, I didn't need the food to "scratch that itch" that it was never meant to soothe. What I needed was to let myself cry and to just feel my feelings, to not be afraid of them anymore. You sound like you're beginning to figure things out, but maybe this is the missing puzzle piece that will help answer your question? There are a few books related to this, including those by author Geneen Roth (Breaking Free from Emotional Eating was especially helpful for me). Good luck! If you'd like to talk further, feel free to message me. : ) ~Amy
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