Recently my friend has gone through a rough patch in her relationship her and her boyfriend are always fighting and it's become really stressful for her. But she has chosen to keep everything bottled up no matter how many times I tell her that's not healthy... She hasn't been able to eat for two weeks every time she tries she throws it up. She has lost a bunch of weight in this short time, and I know that this is extremely unhealthy but I don't know what tO do! Please help?
It must be hard for you to watch your friend suffer, and to feel so helpless. Your friend is doing the best she can do with the stresses in her relationship. Her behavior is saying what her mouth is having difficulty saying. Individuals do bounce back. It could lead to an eating disorder; however, it is too early to predict. If the relationship issues are destructive to her, she may need to leave the relationship to return to her norm. She is the only one who can change her behavior, as you are the only one who can change your behavior. Learning to let go of needing to change her is the best thing you could do for yourself and her. In supporting her, you could say something like, “I care for you and I am concerned about your inability to eat and how this is damaging your body. I am here for you. And I want to support you to speak to a counselor to help you process your feelings and thoughts in a effective way.” And remember, it is her life and her choice. And the times others step in is when it is life threatening to the individual or others. My best, Patricia Pitts, PhD The Bella Vita Los Angeles, CA
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