Told doc about bulimia. Changed my mind - wish I hadn't. What do I say to her?
I first went to my doc 8 months ago and was diagnosed with depression. Even then, I knew deep down that I was bulimic and the two were connected, but I kept quiet. I finally admitted to her about my vomiting a couple of months ago. When I visited her last week, she weighed me and found I had lost 6kg since my last visit a month before. I don't think this is a lot, and would have a long way to go before I was happy with my weight - but that's another story. Anyway, she sent me for blood tests, saying that seeing the results might make me realise how serious it is. She also wants to send me to a specialist. I said I would think about it and tell her when I go in for my blood test results next week. Now I really wish I had never said anything to her. How do I convince her that I am ok now?
trust me its impossible to go back and she will not be convinced. sorry to tell you that and i completely get that that is scary to hear. the best thing to do now is to just agree with whatever she says, do what she wants and then they will all leave you alone for a while. even if you don't listen you have to let them talk. its hard. but its the only way you will get your peace. if you fight her she will not leave you alone.
there is some part of you that wants this all to go away because you told her, even if you can't feel that part of you at this time... it is there and in the end it will all be ok.
don't try and convince her your ok because she will not buy it, and it would probably be a lie.
good luck and i hope your bloods are what you want.
One thing to remember is that doctors are there to provide a service for their patients, the same as any provider of a service such as a waitress, car salesman, etc. You have no obligation to any particular doctor to listen to her or follow her advice if you do not wish to do so, of if you feel it doesn't meet your needs. All you need to do is walk away or not follow through with what they recommend, or seek a different doctor.
Having said that, however, I wonder if your regretting having shared your issues with the doctor is because you are afraid to get well, or scared about what it means that you have admitted to a problem with eating issues. It's natural to be frightened and to wonder if you should have said anything. If you really know you have a problem and need help, it's natural to be afraid, but go ahead and get the help you need. You won't regret seeking recovery! I have 16 years recovery and it has been the best 16 years of my life!
Weight loss IS a part of an eating disorder and not in a good way! The desire to lose extreme amounts of weight in very rapid and unhealthy ways is the definition of an eating disorder. So it is something we don't want to encourage, but instead urge someone to get help to live healthy and feel good about themselves.
Weight gain can be a part of it to. You can be bulimic or annorxice and still gain weight. May e seeing the blood test results will help just a little. Do you have a close friend/sibbling that knowes? You if they beilvie you are over it. There may always be a part o you that liked what you did, even if 90% of you hated it. Having a second person will help but gaining weight to a helthy weight is the altament test. And if you hate seeing numbers go up and you look at yourself after you eat and seam to hate yourself, if you think "I wish I hadn't eaten that" then you army compleatly over it. You are trying, I can tell that you are ready to recover but your jurney still isent over. You may be underweight and weak. Until you have built up some muscle and gained weight to a healthy weight you won't be left alone. If you need help just message me. I understand it all. I'm a step ahead of you and I want to help cuz I know what it's like unlike people who have never gone threw it who just tell you to eat something. They don't understand how eating can be hell.
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