I don't even feel as if there's a problem, but I can't help wondering. A few months ago I weighed 115 pounds. Now I weigh in at 95. I'm 5 foot 5 in tall. My bmi says I'm underweight. My dad says I'm underweight.
My boyfriend says I look skinnier than anyone he's ever seen (But I'm still not as good as the models he can't help but touch himself to..not just when I'm away, but when I'm right in the next room! Am I not as satisfying as those women?!)
I don't blame that though, (as he's said, he's a guy, and sometimes guys can't help themselves...<even if I'm there?> I've had these feelings towards myself long before I met him.
My weight has fluctuated since 7th grade (I'm 18 now.) but it's never gone below 100 and now it has. Lately I've been feeling less desire to eat, and more accomplishment out of not eating. (It usually gets like this before I start to lose weight.)
Would weighing 90 pounds at my height be as unhealthy as it's said to be?
I don't feel as if there is, but could there a problem with me?
Speaking as someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder(started off as bulimia, but then went to anorexia) i do have to say that i am concerned about the road you are heading down. The first, and most prominent sign that someone is having disordered eating thoughts, is in how they view and speak of themselves- u are very down on urself, and feel u are not good enough...one then tries to rectify and alter these feelings of inadequacy by altering their physical appearance, believing that when they are thin, they will look better, feel better, and therefore be loved and wanted more!Yes, so u reached 95 pounds, and still u are wanting to lose somemore- this is what is most worrying as it shows the addiction is sowing its roots into u- this is something u need to be very careful of, as the classis eating disordered mind, will never reach a weight they are happy with-they will always want to go that bit further, and before u know it, u will be out of control, and the eating disorder will have taken over.U also described how u are losing the desire to eat, which is a definite symptom of an eating disorder- as u lose weight, ur appetite will decrease, as will ur stomach, but u will also fine that u becomre more and more obsessed with food- thinking about it, and worrying about it, becoming more and more obsessed with it, and developing unhealthy food related habits, i.e. weighing everything before u eat it, feeling guilty for eating etc.
I do not want to scare u, but i feel it is important that i make u aware of the fact that yes, u are heading down a dangerous path, and u need to address the underlying issues and feelings that u are having-u will find that u have a very low, and negative opinion of urself, something which will need alot of work on, and rebuilding. I would suggest u go talk to a counsellor, or someone like that who can offer u support and advice-trust me, the sooner u deal with these issues, the better, trust me. Eating disorders are nasty things, which will suck u in before u know it. Well done for raising this issue and seeking advice and support- u obviously know urself that things are not good and u are concerned about urself, now its time to help urself, and confide in someone in ur life who u can trust and who u know will support u.
I hope this helps.
You know your 95 pounds right now...what do you think of your physical appearance? do you feel good or bad about it? and as your weight went down how did it affect what you felt about yourself? sometimes depression cuase the lack ..positiveness to life.. it affects mood, eating habits,etc.. anyways the best way is to self evaluate your self as your wieght goes down if you fell good .. get help... if you fell bad.. i dont know.. eat or you have somethin like depression.. anyways good luck.
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Smythie- I just don't feel I deserve to have a higher opinion of myself. And I don't deserve to make excuses for anything. Going to see a councilor is like saing I have an excuse for how I am. I don't have anyone I can trust enough to confide in. My boyfriend just says I'm crazy for not thinking I'm skinny.When I talk to him when I feel bad about myself he says I shouldn't feel that way. And if I talk to him about how I feel about his issue, he yells and gets offensive. I don't trust him enough for that.
I have no one else though.
...one good thing is that he wants the both of us to go to couples therapy. If there were an issue with my weight, could it be resolved there or would it have to be in personal therapy? (Does this make him trustworthy so I can talk to him...it makes it seem like he wants to change...?)
Blood88- Everone says I'm beautiful. I don't just feel ugly though, I feel disgusting. So much to the point I'm ashamed of being touced. I hate my body shape (my waist is 23 in. too thick in proportion to the rest of me). When my weight goes down I feel euphoric. I want more of that feeling.
Molly83- My boyfriend never said my body was "hot" until I weighed in at least under 105. The more I lost, the more he complimented me.
I don't know what to do. I desperately want to not eat. I just can't eat "normally" anymore. Food has a whole different meaning to me that I can't even decipher. My logic tells me somethings off, but my feelings tell me the complete opposite; that this whole thing is good. I feel maybe I've passed the point of no return and I should be worried, but I'm not. (I weigh 94 now.)
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