Wow this is WAY more serious than I thought what can I do???

Alright up until now I was kinda in senile about me maybe having a eating disorder. Because I haven't seen a doctor and I'm not under weight.

But I just weighed myself at my friends like 20 minutes ago and I was writhing in my journal on my iPod and I realized me gaining the 5 pounds back that I lost last weekend makes me kinda want to die. It really scares me and makes me think I'm going to gain like a hundred pounds and I'm going to be the fattest thing on earth even fatter then I already am.

It really scares me though that it makes me kinda want to die. Though I've been thinking of dieing all day though befor I weighed myself I didn't actualy fully want to now I'm not sure if I do or not defiantly more than I did before.

So I realize this is serious now what can I do??? The counselor I was talking to can't talk to me anymore because it's during school hours and
the shcool board requires a parents signature =(

What's something that I can do on my own??? Or even just with my youth pastor to help???

[ticked]

I am sorry that you are going through this.  I myself have an eating disorder.  I have gone from anorexia to Bulimia to now Binge eating.  I really dont know why I do it but I know I dont think highly of myself and that is the key.  

I dont know how to love myself, it has been the hardest thing for me to deal with and I think just talking to a someone who knows how to deal with eating disorders is your best bet.

Dont wait get help before you really do have a serious problem.

good luck

[zigzag70]

something you could try is a hotline, it's hard to open up to anyone. but these are anonymous and some are 24hr you can talk to them and they won't trace you, no one will have to know. that helped temporarily for me.