anorexia

i give up... i really dont no what to do now :(

ive kinda had anorexia for the past 4 years... ive never had it properly diagnosed but ive got most of the symptoms and quite alot of people have said i am e.g. my best friend, best friends mum and people
none of my family have realised
they sometimes realise that i hardly eat but not that often and they sometimes say stuff like im wasting away
but they have never said that im anorexic or anything

i have been trying to get better on my own but it seams like when i go back to ana (anorexia) its worse than it was before
these past few weeks have been hell and i just cant cope anymore
today ive had about 300kl and i feel really guilty for eating ... so im probs gonna end up over exercising again and i cant help it, its like impossible to not exercise or eat n stuff
before i ate the 300kl today it had been about 24 hours without any food or drink because i just coudnt eat or drink anything
i was really thirsty but it was like impossible for me to drink anything because i was to scared

yesterday i had about 90kl

i always have this voice in my head but a few days ago it was stronger .... it was saying stuff like im fat n im not worthless and il be happy and in control if i loose more weight
that day i ended up burning 1000kl on my dancemat and i did have some water while i was on the dancemat but the voice started telling me that il put on weight if i carried on drinking the water ... so i stopped drinking
that day i had about 300kl aswell

another day i went on a 4 hours bike ride without having anything to eat

its just got to strong now and i cant cope
i havnt even had a period for 2 months.... its usually iregualr but i dont think its ever been like this before

im 16 (17 soon)
im 5ft 6 and 110lbs

i think one of the reasons why i havnt told any of my family is because im worried if they might say like how can i be anorexic when im fat ... because i am fat :(

please help me... what shall i do??

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

The problem is the voice in your head. The second problem is that you listen to the voice in your head which is telling you all the wrong things.  You need to sort this out with a profesional..there are many trained to deal with eating disorders with teenagers...your parents or your doctor can help you find the right person.  This can be a very serious health risk...see a professional as soon as possible.

[Jaquta]

The doctor gave you really good advice.  I sincerely hope you access that support asap.

Good luck!