im 19 and i feel like my whole life has been taken over by anorexia.
everytime i look back at something ive done, it always has part of anorexia in it :(
for example, when i was about 8 years old, i was in my lesson at school and i just felt so big compared to everyone else (looking back at photos i was one of the smallest).
in comprehensive school, i can remember taking my whole dinner break just to eat somethng little because i was so worried about it. but must of the time i didnt eat anything, so i can just remember having friends/ teachers trying to persuade me to eat, it never usually worked :(
and even at my past jobs! i can remember secretly doing sit ups and star jumps whilst working :( ... my last job was in an arcade and golf, so when i was in the golf hut... i used to do it then when there was just me in there.
i just feel like ive wasted most of my life to this, and i just cant seem to recover :( ive been trying to recover on my own for all this long, and it does work for a space of time... but as soon as i can notice the weight gain or when something stressful happens in my life i just relapse completely and i find it so difficult to gain control of my eating again.
its like an ongoing battle with myself and i just feel that if my whole life is going to be like this... its pointless with me being her.
what shall i do?
please dont say go to my GP because im currently a student nurse and i dont want this to be on my health records as it could jepodise my place on this course
As you can see, your eating disorder has dominated you whole life. Anorexia is an illness. There are studies showing there is a genetic link. It’s not your fault. And there is successful treatment. With my personal experience of anorexia and my 30 years of professional experience treating eating disorders, I know people can be freed of the hold anorexia has on them. You do need to seek some professional help. I have treated many nursing students, nurses, pre-med students, doctors, nutritional students, nutritionists, and fitness experts over the years. They were able to seek treatment and still continue their career course. However to honor your request not to be directed to a GP, please seek out an eating disorder therapist in your area. Eating disorders do not go away. One in ten individuals with an eating disorder do not seek treatment. With treatment, 60% are partially to fully recover. Eating disorders has the highest death rates of all mental illnesses: 20% from medical complications or suicide. As a nursing student, you owe it to yourself and those you treat to get well yourself. To learn more about eating disorders and treatment options, visit the bella vita website. Wishing you recovery, Dr. Patricia Pitts, PhD The Bella Vita Los Angeles, CA
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