numb

i wanna be numb all the time, nt feel pain nt c i wanna lie n bed n see things tht aren't there i wanna be some one.
the people tht r loved n cared for i wanna baby, but numb is easier!

[Zoelula]

Numb can be hard to maintain without doing lots of negative things to your body and heart. It also is no way to live your life. Something is making you want to feel numb all the time and to feel so much pain. "Being someone" is scary and maybe you think you don't deserve it or aren't good enough. You need some help to not feel this way. You deserve to be happy and loved and to love others in your life. My suggestion is to get some counseling. It really can help with the way you think and the way you feel!

[maddie93]

i've been n counseling since October because i was raped by my best friends dad.
n the mental hospital nothings working:(
i feel outa place, i took 1400mg of antidepressants before i got on here.
i dnt wanna be here

[Zoelula]

You need to tell someone that you are feeling suicidal. I know you feel that life will never get better, but it will, it just takes time. You may not believe me now but I felt just as bad as you do when I was your age and it took time, but I learned to feel good about myself and to enjoy my life. Now I am writing a book about my life. Think that there is a future maddie waiting for you to get through this hard time and come to her good life she has waiting for you. If you kill yourself you won't have all that future joy. Please tell someone in your real life like your parents, therapist or a suicide hotline.
Zoe

[maddie93]

i told my mom, she didn't take me to the hospital she doesn't want me to go away.

i feel numb i jus cry all the time
y didn't tht kill me? its supposed to i'll never die i've OD so many times n i only feel
sick dizy never anything else

[Zoelula]

Maybe you are meant to still be here. Be sure and tell your therapist how you are feeling.

[maddie93]

i guess i'll have to mom said she wnt tel her i OD but tht i have to tel her tht im still depressed, ty Zoelula for all the help

[Zoelula]

Yes, your therapist can only help you if you tell her exactly how you feel, there is no point in hiding things from her. And you're very welcome; I don't know you but I want you to be ok...even happy!

[maddie93]

i will try n talk to her some time:) ty