please help me ... anorexia??

hiyaa ... thanks for clicking on my question

since i was about 12 years old i started suffering with anorexia ... im 16 now
im between 5ft 5 - 5ft 6

and my lowest weight is about 91lbs


i really just feel like giving up now :(
i feel so stupid and worthless and this might sound crazy, but i keep hearing this voice in my head saying that im not worth food, everything will be better if i lost more weight and im a failure etc.

no one knows about me having anorexia so ive been trying to recover on my own :(.... but its got to strong now

a reason for this is because my great nanna died a couple of weeks ago and i was really close to her (i was also there when she passed away aswell)

so i just feel like everything has gone out of control and i really dont no what to do
i cant tell anyone in my family because their upset about my great nanna dieing.

please help me.... what shall i do??

[maddie93]

hunny your worth so much i dnt no you but i wish i did, because we could help each other i feel like tht all the time and hey im nt jus some one tht doesn't understand my dad died and i too think im fat and ugly i was n the mental hospital

[Scout8601]

I'm familiar with those same voices...they are the anorexia.  Don't listen.  You are worth so much more and you deserve to be healthy and have a good life.  And I know you don't want to put more stuff on your family b/c of the death, but anorexia is serious and you need help to recover.  I'm sure your family will be glad you told them.  Yeah, maybe they will be mad about what you're doing to yourself, but that's just because they don't know anything about anorexia.  Tell them you want a therapist who can help. Tell them that you're telling them b/c you want help and need their help to get what you need.  

Listen, this will not get better on it's own and you can die from it....I had two friends die from anorexia and I almost died two times before recovering.. And wouldn't your family rather get you help then bury you too.  Sorry if I sound harsh, its' just that I had anorexia and bulimia for 27 years and I know what it can do to your body, your mind, and your life and I just don't want others to have to go thru what I did.  And sounds like you've gone thru it long enough.. Please think about telling them, okay.  And if you can't tell your family, try to tell some other adult who can get you help....like a teacher, councelor at school (personally, that's who I would tell)  another relative or mother of a friend....just somebody to help you b/c you can't do it alone.  Good luck to you and I pray you get the help you need and so deserve.