what causes the eating disorder

i have started anorexia when i was 12 years old and suffered really badly till about 19. in and out of hospitals and psych wards and than group homes. i am 42 now and physically well. i stopped therapy once i got to be 19 and out of hospitals because i was so done with drs. i wish i never did. i still suffer the emotional triggers of an eating disorder. i am very afraid of getting fatter, eating certain foods and so forth. what i want to do and hope to find out once i committ myself to seeking therapy for my own well being, is what set my eating disorder off? i know that anxiety, child hood trauma or anything of the sort, and stress triggers it off. i used to vomit alot and i have been clean of any purges for almost 3 months. but when i dont workout at the gym, or run i am a basket case 10 times more than when i do workout. can anyone help me out for the time being until i work with my counselor. thanks