what is wrong with me

Hi for some time i have been feeling like i am going mad. I seem to star crying fr no reason and i feel intensly lonely and feel like my whole world is coming to an end. i also dont feel like i have ever bonded with my daughter she is 5 years old now and i was 15 when i had her and for about 3 years i lived with my mum and we both tended to share the responsibility. but now i seem to not enjoy her company at all. i feel very resentfu of her as i am unable to do certain things. i also feel so guilty because although i no i love her im not that interested in dping activities with her and i sometimes think i dont actually like her personality that much. this makes me feel really bad because i no that this is wrong. but dispite all these feelings i have about her i also hae these awful thoughts about if she became realy ill and died and how i would feel and i get really scared that she is going to di and set my aarm to wake me up in the night to check that she is ok. but i dont know why i do this. all of this i s getting me down and i am scared to go to the dr and explain my feelings because i am worried what they would think of me as a mother. please would someone be able to help me!!

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You need help with this...you have the symptoms of depression, but also the description of a life change situation in which you are trying to find a new pathway, and having a lot of regrets about the past...you should ask your doctor for a referral to a psychotherapist as well as for some antidepressant medication.