Hello Ladies I have just recently joined and have had an ectopic pregnancy. As of Sep 9 2010 I am 28 years old and I was 7 weeks pregnant with baby #3 (my 2 other girls are 8,4). I have never had any other complication in the past til this one. I had gone into the hospital for some light bleeding and cramping, The dr sent me for ultra sound and blood work. the blood work came back in 1,000's so the dr said the #s were high enough that he did the ultrasound (ab and vag) They told me that the baby implanted it self in the right tube and ruptured my tube, 6 hours later I was in surgery (c-section type) having my right tube removed. The ovaries are still good and the left tube is too. the dr were very surprised I wasnt feeling the pain that I was supposed to. Everyone said I should have been buckled over in pain, and come to find out the dr told my husband it was a good thing I came in because I was bleeding internally and I was on the down hill, (I had no clue, I didnt feel much but like menstrual cramps) But here it is a week later and I still cant seem to take my hospital bracelet off. I feel like I have come to terms with it because I know god has a plan for me and I feel like I have grieved but why cant I take this bracelet off.
I was wondering how did some you ladies cope with your loss and what do you think the chances are of it happening again or being able to conceive again?
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's such a painful thing to go through, especially to lose a necessary body part in the process of your loss. Sorry for not responding to you sooner. I was taking some time off of this site when you posted. The same thing happened to me except when I went to the doctor my tube had not ruptured yet. My numbers were up to 14,000's already and everything was looking good except for the minimal brown spotting. I had no pain (none that made me worry anyway). I can't believe you didn't feel pain even after your tube ruptured! My tube never ruptured but I would think surely that is something you would feel. It's kind of scary to think that you can get that far in an ectopic pregnancy and have no pain at all.
As for coping with the loss, a lot of people recommend therapy. I never tried it myself, maybe I'm just too proud for my own good, but looking back I think it would have helped. I don't know what kind of support you have but I was at a place where no one understood and expected me to move on after a week. So I kept everything inside until I was busting at the seams with emotions. After my ectopic, every single one of my friends who had not yet had a baby have become pregnant (not exaggerating either). So after being forced to watch their bellies grow, hear them complain about how fat they thought they were, and go to their baby showers, it's now time for them to start delivering. Honestly, things didn't start getting any easier for me until after my baby's due date (Sept. 25th.) On that day I planted a tree in remembrance. And I had started a pregnancy journal scrapbook as soon as I found out I was pregnant and the pages up until 8 weeks have and will forever remain blank. But I wrote a note to our baby on the very last page. This for some reason or another helped me tremendously. I had also kept my hospital bracelet and a picture of my little "embryo" and put that in the book too. To me, my baby will always be my baby and I think it's a pretty amazing gift that I was given to be capable of loving something that I never even laid eyes on. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't always and still am not completely this positive. I'm still trying everyday to be happy for my friends without being sad for myself. I just hope so badly that you have at least a couple people who can understand you and that you can lean on for support when you don't feel like moving. But if you don't, we are here for that reason. This site helped me a lot to realize that not only was there people who had been through the same kind of experience as me, but they completely understood me and told me it was okay to be sad, it was okay to be angry and bitter, and it was okay to not be able to let go. You can't just put a band-aid on and be all better.
As for the chances of it happening again... if you've had one ectopic, your chances raise to a 15% chance of having another ectopic. So that's an 85% chance of having an in-utero pregnancy. It may take a little longer than before though because now you only have one tube to work with instead of two. I'm on my ninth cycle ttc and it's frustrating, but I am confident that when the time is right, I will be pregnant again. I have the same confidence in you. Sorry for writing you a novel lol, but I hope this in some way helps you and feel free to message me if you ever need someone to talk to. I wish you all the luck in your ttc journey and TONS of ssbd!!
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