I just put on hold my adoption process ( but never say never;-)), because I found out that they want me to adopt older children... And I wanted a baby. We were trying for a long time, I miscarried in 2004. After another few years we decided to try ivf. Another pregnancy, another miscarriage. My egg are very poor quality and my FSH is high so we thought about adoption, but.....what I really want is to get pregnant, to nurture the baby, to go thru birth, to see first smile and create that special bond. I have so much love to offer...
So I started researching and learned about egg donor and embryo donor programs.
I know that maybe I'm not supposed to do it here, but I will take the risk...
Do you know anybody who's willing to be an egg donor in Chicago area? Or maybe you have the exact number of children you wanted and don't know what to do with remaining, frozen embies?
Here I am, waiting and praying for a miracle to happen.
Hi Juana, I know we previously spoke. I am now reviewing your post asking about an egg donor. I found mine buy my regular clinic which is how most people do it because they area already screened, counseled and the just in general make sure the donors understand what they are doing. As far as adopting embryos, there are many websites for which you can create an ad. I think one of them is called miracleswaiting.org but I am sure if you do a google search, you can find many more. As you spend time on here, you will learn who is doing egg donor, embryo donation. I think even though this page was created, many people still keep it a secret. I am surely praying for you.
I know we spoke :-)
I just thought; why not try here, on MH forum where there is so many women doing ivf....?
I have scheduled appointments at 2 clinics, but I'm not sure if I will be a good candidate for 100% refund program.... They usually want low fsh.
If it's not a refund program, I'm not sure if we will be able to afford egg donation.
Thank you for your support and prayers,once again!
I will keep you in my prayers, too and when I know more I will contact you privately.
The thing with using a refund program w/donor eggs is (or donor embryos) it doesn't matter what your stats are. They just require a healthy uterus. That's it!!! Your using a donor, so your own info just doesn't matter!! : ) Hey, you might as well ask around... you never know who's interest you might spark! I sure now my donor caught me by suprise!!!
Look at the place in CA.. it's affordable! Also, look at the place in New York, and touch base with Journey2motherhood... she will give you prices.
Maybe, someone will see your post, and get in touch with you... it cannot hurt to ask! : )
Too much information at once and I didn't check these places yet.
I will today.
They don't do the refund program for people with insurance, even if it covers just a small part (I found out today from the clinic I did ivf with).
So I would have to look at the total cost and agree to pay it or choose embryo donation.
There is a place called Attain IVF. They have a 100% refund program for donor eggs. They give you 3 fresh tries and unlimited frozen tries. They give you a discounted rate if you have fertility coverage. (it dropped our price about $8,000) when we were looking, before the donor embryos)
Fertility Centers of Illinois
5911 Northwest Highway, Suite 205
Crystal Lake, IL 60014
1- 815- 261- 9193 phone number
Is one clinic that works with attain ivf... i looked it up on the internet just now
I think each clinic is different with their refund programs. I would call around to different clinics. I know some won't give you discounts, but some will. Even though... If you pay the whole amount, and you get a baby to bring home... would you care : )
There are also a couple of places that will finance the cost of the programs.
I'm currently with fertility Centers and how I said, this program doesn't apply to women who have at least partial insurance coverage (including myself).
So I pay donor's medical costs + donor's fee = approx. $13,000.00.
It's not $25,000.00, but still a lot of money and you never know how many eggs are going to fertilize and what's going to be their quality.
I'm still checking different clinics...
Of course,if I bring baby home, the price can be twice as much and we will somehow work it out. I just want to be sure that I won't loose 13,000.00 for nothing and another 2 years of my life (I'm 39 right now).
Thank you for finding this clinic on the internet for me:-)
You see, I research a lot, but usually in the end things are not so perfect as they appear...
Same thing with adoption process we started: we wanted infant/infants but found out the we can only have older children (assuming we want healthy ones).
So adoption agency application fee + acceptance fee goes bye, bye and we will loose money paid for homestudy.
That's why I don't want to pay for something that's expensive and they won't give me guarantee or money back.
Well, I know that money is not the most important thing in the whole process, but if you don't have them and you already lost some, it can be hard (I'm not saying we are poor, but we aren't rich, either).
yeah, that's the down fall of the refund programs. You still have to pay for the donor meds. Attain gives you X number of dollars towards the donor fee, and usually if you pick a donor from your clinic, it will cover the whole cost.
There is a place in Maryland, Shady Grove, that has an awesome program of sharing 1 donor eggs with 2 other couples, it's $28,000 total, and if it doesn't work, you get the whole $28,000 back. That's for meds, donor fees everything
You only have to make 2 trips there (in theory, cause you'll be successful the first time). that might be worth looking into.
B74 is preggers with twins right now,and she went there.
I think the way you have to go into the donor egg refund program is you have to assume that you are going to get pregnant the first time. If you have to use all of the tries, and at least you are getting 80% of the total cost back. More then if you just do a single program.
I found the breakdown of cost for the place Journey2motherhood is using in New York, she posted it a while ago,...
They have a frozen egg bank and the cost for that is $10,000.00 (yes includes their meds as well)
I think you get 6 eggs, and they guarentee at least 2 blasts....
It might be worth looking into? She did say that the transfer costs was 1,200, but that her insurance covered that....
100% Refund Donor Embryos | California IVF
Fertility treatments can become very expensive, and in many cases, the high cost of these treatments can prevent patients from achieving their dreams of having a baby. The California Conceptions Program offers excellent chances of success at very affordable prices using donated embryos. We are so confident in our ability to get women pregnant with this program, we are offering most participants a 100% refund of services provided in the event a pregnancy does not progress beyond 12 weeks. Most refund plans cost much more than treatments without a refund, but not ours! Patients that are eligible for the 100% refund plan will pay the clinic $9800 for up to three embryo transfer procedures. That’s less than the cost that most clinics charge for a single in vitro treatment.
A 100% Refund Option will be Offered to
Most California Conceptions Program Patients
Eligible patients will receive one or two donated embryos per transfer. If a pregnancy does not result after the first transfer, there are still two more opportunities for pregnancy to occur. After the third transfer, if a pregnancy has not progressed beyond 12 weeks, the patient will receive their $9800 as a refund. Some patients may even be eligible to participate in the refund program for another three transfers! This program really takes away the financial risks of fertility treatments. Of course, medication costs and travel expenses will not be reimbursed. Patients should expect medications to cost between $500 and $800 per transfer unless there are insurance benefits that cover medication costs. We are not able to accept insurance for our services as part of the refund plan.
To be eligible for the donated embryo guarantee option, you must meet all of the following requirements:
54 years of age or younger
BMI (body mass index) less than 28
Uterus must be free of abnormalities that may hinder or interrupt a pregnancy, to be assessed by saline contrast sonography or hysteroscopy
No history of failed IVF cycle(s) with donor oocytes
What would I do without you????:-)
You leave me speechless, my MH friend!
There are still good people on this planet:-) Yesterday I've got a message from a girl from Texas, who read my post and wanted to give me her eggs. But she's pregnant right now so it would take about 6-7 months because she doesn't have any embies frozen...
God is good!
I feel a new hope and new energy. And...I have a really good feeling that I will be pregnant soon!
Where do you live, by the way, in California?
Oh, silly me...I've just checked your profile- Ohio!
I recently found one embryo adoption agency in OH, they don't require homestudy, they actually "sell" embies: $950 for one....
I didn't know what to think about it....she even sent my a few pics of the couples.
But....it bothers me when somebody puts a price label on that little human being....
Just remember when making these very important decsions that when it comes down to it, even with young healthy egss this is a gamble. You basically have a 50% shot, realitsically. If you can afford the guarantee program I would do that. Shady Grove includes the medications for the donor, but not for you which is minimal and you may have coverage for the meds.
I just had a failed donor cycle, with a single donor young and healthy and I have a great uterus and have had children in the past. We now only have 1 frozen embryo, great qualityy but only 1. This is $20,000 later.
I wish you the very best in your journey, these are very hard choices. I would consider this route verses adoption if you are healthy, in my opinion!!! Whatever is right for YOU:)
I know it's still 40-50% of chance with embryo donor, but I'm willing to take the risk.
My uterus is healthy, hormone levels ok, except FSH.
My doc gave me green light and he's very honest, so I guess I have a good chance.
The embryo adoption program I'm going with is not expensive, plus if I don't get pregnant within a year, they will refund part of the money.
I'm so excited!!!
I think you know that I got my BFP recently after using DE. My clinic has their stats listed on their website... and between 2001-2009, 60% of women using donor eggs were "clinically pregnant" (tested positive at beta). unfortunately only 55.3% carried to term. In 2009 alone the clinical pregnancy number was up to 73%, so I think the odds might be slowly improving. :)
Do you know the age of your embryo donor? Is she younger than we are? ;-) My doctor told me the single biggest factor in the viability of an embryo/pregnancy is the age of the mother (or in our cases donor). The age of the uterus doesn't have an impact, only the age of the eggs.
Of course I know you got pregnant - I congratulated you on the other thread :-)
Once again, I'm very happy for you!!!
I'm glad that pregnancy number after DE transfers is improving.
My doc checked the agency I'm going with and they usually have good quality embies.
I know that I should pick a donor who's as young as possible. I can always not take referral when donor's age will be the issue, but it means longer wait, of course.
Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy. I will pray for you:-)
Hi Juana, fearsomekitty put me onto your thread as she thought you would be a good person for me to talk to about this.
I have just found out that my doctor will not do another IVF as he feels he has tried all he can at my age (43). 3 failed IUIs and a failed IVF with 3 embryos using my eggs and donor sperm. he has now suggested embryo donation as it is far less expensive then donor eggs. Since money is an issue i have decided to go with donor embryos. My concern is the wait time on this, i have been reading and it seems that women have waited up to 2 years. I am in Toronto Canada and i am not sure if the wait times here are any different then in the states, but any information anyone has on this would be greatly appreciated. I am already devastated that i am not pregnant from my last IVF but feel hopeful that it WILL happen....I just hope it won't take so long!!
You may find some great information above that I posted for Juana earlier... I also put them in your question that you posted. I know that juana has went with an donating agency, hopefully she can fill you in, and get help shorten your journey.
I know how it feels.. I'm "only" 39 ( ;-)) but my eggs are not good - I think it's genetic because my mom went thru menopause early and my younger sister can't have children.
After hearing from my doc that the chance of me getting pregnant using my eggs is close to zero, we decided to adopt. At first we thought about a baby, then about international adoption of older children and finally it occurred to me that I want to get thru the process almost every woman goes thru - to experience morning sickness, first kicks, first cry, first smile and this special bond...
I called every clinic in Illinois and checked couple in Indiana...the cost is unbelievable and I don't qualify for attained ivf program because I have insurance...
I've learned a lot from wonderful girls on this forum: mhv and Kricket212 (thanks God for these women). One day I was looking for something about egg donors and I found out about embryo adoption agencies. There are few of them here, but the best one I found ( great executive director, very honest and spiritual person, good quality embryos, waiting time 2-4 months and the cost is low) is in state of Washington, so close to you I believe.
I will give you a link to their website below. I know that some embryo donation agencies do adoptions internationally, but I don't know if this one does...
Even if they don't, Maria, the executive director is very helpful and maybe she will know a good agency in Canada?
Oh, by the way they are church based organization but you don't have to be a part of their church to get accepted.
I don't know what other questions you may have..? I think mhv is more knowledgeable than I am but if I can help with anything, let me know!
One thing I'm certain about: since I decided (I should say "we" because I'm married;-)), I feel peaceful, calm and certain that this is what I really want. With previous options I had a lot of doubts and anxiety...
I know that the child/children won't have our genes but it doesn't matter...what matters I have a lot of love to offer and can't wait to carry this special, precious little bean under my heart.
Take care and God bless you for even considering this option...there are thousands of embryos waiting for somebody to bring them back to life..
Thanks so much for the info. I called and left a message for them, but it looks from their site that they are catholic based so i am not so sure they will accept a Jewish recipient.
I heard back from my clinic, there are at least 10 people ahead of me on the list...both couples and single parents. And she said it went according to the donor's specifications...and I assume most requested the recipient be a couple so i am extremely bummed right now. My IVF will be payed off in November so i guess I will save every penny after that and if I have money for an egg donor before an embryo comes up i will go that route. It's just all so far away. When i made this decision back in February...i thought i would be 3 months pregnant by now :-(
Well they called me back...and after getting some great info and thinking hey i can afford this in a few months....the deal breaker came. I mentioned that i was doing this as a single mother and her tone changed completely. She said they don't really deal with single mothers and that changes everything with the wait time. So it seems that embryo adoption as a single mother is even harder. I have searched and searched and many places won't even except single recipients.
I'm so sorry... I thought it wouldn't be an issue..
I know that the waiting is terrible. I expected to be pregnant for sure last year in October, so it's almost a year and more waiting to come...
You can try one more, because I know they accept single moms and they do it internationally:
In their Fact Sheet For Adopting Parents they say that they handle single women and international adoptions on case by case basis and that you don't need to be Christian to adopt an embryo thru their organization.
I also checked National Embryo Adoption Center from Tennessee, but they probably won't accept single women.
I hope you will learn some good news finally...maybe from Nightlight, who knows? They sound ok.
I think my best bet is to post on Miracleswaiting. That site came up over and over again on various message boards. For $150 membership you have access to donors searching for recipients and recipients searching for donors. You post a profile and look through donor profiles and can contact each other, etc. I think posting my story would open up people's minds to who they may want to donate to. So many women seem to have found matches within a few short months by posting there. If I can find a match then i just have to wait till i have the funds for legal fees and cost of bringing the embryo to Toronto and the clinic fees. All of which will be faster and less expensive than donor eggs.
I feel I can see a light at the end of the tunnel...and I REALLY needed to see that light because it's been pitch black for days!
I am also going for a spiritual reading tomorrow morning. I found someone who is willing to do an exchange. i am giving her one of my paintings in exchange for a reading, i was so excited that she agreed! Now if I could find a fertility clinic willing to do an exchange life would be grand!! I am hoping she tells me what I want to hear.
Here's to me being a little more hopeful...and to all of you who have been listening and helping :-)
I know this website, I have been there a few times looking for donor couples
But I prefer to do it thru agency...more expensive but less headache.
I think in your situation it may be a wonderful idea!
Great that your hope is coming back:-) Positive attitude means a lot on this road.
I wish you a good reading tomorrow!
(I've been couple times myself but probably picked the wrong ones - I had a feeling they were using my lack of knowledge of that stuff to tell me whatever they felt like telling)
Can you post any of your paintings on your profile page? I love paintings (in the past I used to hang around with different kinds of artists)
Anyway, good luck and lots of serenity and hope:-)
Reading was amazing...she truly is gifted! She saw my mother who has passed...described her to a T! She told me she saw a baby trying to come through and she truly sees a baby in the near future...a man as well...but I only care about the baby! She saw so many other things...and everything she said fit with me and my life and the people in it. After she read me i told her what has been going on and she said that doctors can be wrong and she had a client in yesterday 44 years old 6 months pregnant who she has being reading for years...they told that woman she would never have her own children also...and here she is 6 months pregnant with her own child. she and I both dont think it is a coincidence that her reading was right before mine. I am doing another IVF with my own eggs. i am speaking to my friends doctor tonight and I may switch clinics...whatever he feels is best, he has all the connections. It never felt right that i should only try once when I have a good egg reserve and I got 3 embryos last time. Just because those three weren't healthy doesn't mean one from the next batch wont be. My doctor may not be hopeful but I AM and while i will put myself on waiting lists i will still continue to try with my own eggs! And probably a new doctor!
You go girl!
I also almost gave up trying to get pregnant with the help of in vitro.
But adopting older children is not the same as giving birth....Unfortunately my eggs are not good and with aggressive stimulation I only had 3 and only one fertilized...
If your eggs are still good you shouldn't listen to docs talking about your age etc.
Listen to your heart (Roxette;-)) or to your spiritual person!
I know why docs sometimes don't recommend another ivf to women our age: because they are very concerned that it will spoil their perfect statistics..
I think that the reading right after pregnant woman was not a coincidence, it was a synchronicity of events and I truly believe that stuff like that has deeper meaning!
You made me laugh: "She sees a baby ...a man as well...but I only care about the baby"
lol Guys stay away lol :-)
I like your new attitude:-) Stay positive!
I have already decided that I am doing another IVF even if i have to wait until December and hopefully i wont have to. I will do them up until i get a donor if i have to. I have a good egg reserve and just because three were no good means nothing. there is at least ONE good egg in there and i KNOW it'll show its face sooner or later...hopefully sooner than later!
I am SO getting pregnant....and i am not waiting 2+ years for that to happen!! I am going to go kick some invetro butt!
I keep posting everything twice...one on the origonal thred i was posting and one on yours...here's my last post:
Well i spoke to my friends doctor friend tonight and asked for his personal opinion because i know he is speaking to me as a friend and not a doctor with stats to keep, etc. and he did agree with what my doctor said. He said i could try again and he knows that my doctor will certainly let me, but because of the risk of chromosomal abnormalities he wouldn't recommend it either. He then told me that a couple he knows just got an embryo from Miracleswaiting and it only took two months. he says they were thrilled with the site and the cost was minimal...lawyer fees...flying out to meet the couple and embryo transfer cost. Since my heart was headed in that direction yesterday it is definitely the route I am taking and i will keep you posted!! If I do IVF now, I will be worrying about the baby's health the entire time :-( This doctor is definitely speaking to me from the heart so i am going to take his advice.
Doctors probably know better..I'm just surprised that he didn't recommend it even if your eggs are a good quality.
But they have experience with many women so maybe it's better to rely on their professional opinion.
The new doctor I've seen on Monday said that the higher the age of a woman, the bigger chance of chromosomal abnormalities and miscarriage.
So he advised to adopt an embryo from a couple where the woman is young. He also said that if embryo is good, my hormone levels, age etc. don't really matter, all I need is healthy uterus.
So, I'm really excited about your decision; keep me posted, please:-)
I would post my paintings but because i would like to stay fairly anonymous on this site (I already feel weird that someone on here actually goes to the same clinic i do and realized it!) i know that if there are people on this site that know me they will recognize my artwork and my anonymity will be lost! My profile picture is a painting that only those who know what i am doing have seen. it is the second painting in a duo entitled "love, life and angels" for obvious reasons!!
I am just so excited I found this additional forum. I recognize some regulars on here from my other MH forum ;-). All of the information you guys are posting is so helpful. I will research the snow baby concept a little more. My DH and I made the decision to move forward with donor eggs, but I am so scared about it not working. No reason, my plumbing looks great, blood flow, estrogen/progesterone levels all good. BUT, I've never been pregnant and am so scared that for some reason I will not succeed...and the cost! I think we have all gotten used to being prepared for plan B on here, because we have all suffered so many failed attempts. The CA Conception place sounds like a super affordable option too. My DH thinks we should just go with donor embies because he thinks he is too old to make a good embie (56). I think he's nuts and his boys look pretty good according to our RE. You would think that with all the time we spend researching and waiting that eventually we would all just spit out one good egg and get pregnant! Geez!
Juana, I just wanted to say that your comment is interesting to me about your mother passing menopause early and your younger sis having trouble too. I suspect this is the case with me also. My mother was finitto with meno. at 46. Also, my cycle has been short my whole life, 24-25 days. I wonder how these things may affect us. I once did the math re my cycle vs a 28-30 day cycle and how many more eggs I would have released by my age then another woman. I can't remember my results in detail, but I did figure that I would hit meno earlier than most women...interesting.
Hi Tia, I just wanted to say NEVER GIVE UP!!! I know how you feel because i went through a really tough time the last time i got a BFN using my own eggs. I just had my transfer with donor eggs on November 26...and I got 2 BFPs on HPTs!!! I can hardly even believe it is real. Try and stay positive, it CAN and WILL happen!!! I am also 1 year older than you!!! Once you use donor egs you become the age of the donor...so as far as getting pregnant goes, your chances are as good as someone the age of your donor. Your docotr should be able to tell you what your egg reserve is from the tests he would have done before you ever began treatment, ask him. i had an unusually high egg reserve for someone my age, i fell into the medium range...they were just crappy old eggs that all.
Hope this has helped. Above all Think Positive and BELIEVE it will happen to you!!!
It's so good to have you back, Oregon girl!:-)
Yeah, I think that I have bad genes... I also found out recently about my underactive thyroid - I have to take meds for this. Guess what, my mom and sister have the same problem. And as far as I know thyroid issues are related to infertility.
Of course, it would be nice to have child related to us genetically, but on the other hand I think it's for the best - I have too many health issues...
So my children won't be able to tell me: we got it from you, mom!;-)
You guys are just so awesome. I love this connection we have made. I know that we all feel reserved regarding our anonymity, but I still think it would be amazing if we one day had a reunion in the flesh with our children. Kind of like a strange family reunion. Then again, what family reunions aren't strange!
I would be more than happy to fly with my children to Oregon:-)))
Interesting thing, I don't know if it's normal, but since we started our IVF journey, I rely more on contacts made online, especially here, on MH.
My Chicago friends don't really get it....most of them think that this whole IVF thing is just me being extravagant...;-)
So, I really value support of women who know EXACTLY what I am going through....
Have a wonderful weekend!
Well I wouldn't say it isn't normal...just maybe not usual :-) How anyone could call having a baby by any means possible extravagant is beyond me! All of my friends have been supportive of me from the start...a few have even gone through this and others have adopted so they all completely understand. I consider myself very blessed to have such wonderful and supportive friends. I am sorry to hear it is not the same for you :-(
It's not bad....I just don't share with them too much about the process.
They are nice girls, but not necessarily open- minded ans supportive no matter what....
But I consider myself lucky that I found a group of wonderful women here, on MH (some of them even live close by and we are planning to meet).
I think that suffering, pain, trauma - all that opens up our eyes to others, it makes us more compassionate and understanding, tolerant.
I understand your feeling a lack of understanding and support from your friends. I most certainly feel the same way and also get the most support and spirit building from my lady friends here on MH. My best friend of 34 years I cannot even talk to about this because she is against using fertility drugs. I have other friends who were extremely supportive through my one and only IVF, but when it failed and I told them I was considering donor eggs their attitudes changed. I think "infertility" makes many people uncomfortable, especially if they just "got pregnant" the old fashioned way. Of course this is how we would all want it, but for some it is not so simple. I felt as though I let my friends down when my IVF failed. It was as though I got their hopes up and then brought them down. Now, I too do not share too much. However I have my babies is my business with my DH and when they are born our friends will be happy for us plain and simple. If they knew all the hurdles we went through to get there, things would not be so plain and simple. Can't wait to hear of your progress. I would stay a couch potato for as long as I could milk it! Talk soon!
Hey there. Thank you so much for the uplifting words. I am keeping my chin up until next year and of course trying every month au naturel. I started looking into embryo adoption vs using an egg donor and of course the cost savings is significant. My DH is encouraging that we research this route further but I am still absorbing the donor egg option and am finding it hard to jump to this next level. It's funny to me that I started with donor sperm, moved on to donor eggs, and am now considering donor embies. There is NO WAY I could tell most friends about this outside of MH! CA Conceptions looks like a seriously good deal. I will find out more about them. BTW, again I am so happy for your awesome success. BF YES!
I couldn't stand the "couch potato" phase for too long and today started cleaning and doing laundry. Then I took a nap - I was so tired!
It would be so much easier to invite a friend for a cup of tea and share my insecurities, but I'm grateful for what I have.
I also have noticed that the ivf subject was still quite tolerable for my friends, but the donated embryo transfer? It's too much to digest for many people;-)
So, do you have detailed info about your donor? What was the reason that you have chosen her?
I am praying for you - you will see - time will fly fast!
I Live in Texas. I am a 29 year old Healthy female. My Husband and I found out we will need IVF. I would be willing to donate as many eggs as needed to aquire pregnancies for both. If I cannot get the cost for IVF, I am still willing to donate my eggs so that you nor any other woman is able to have a child. I know how badly I want a baby, if I can help, I will even if I get nothing other than you are able to become a Mother. Thank You and Please keep me updated, leslie.***@****
I wish you luck with your IVF and I hope you will somehow find the money to get the process started. I know that it can be very expensive but it's also very rewarding once you get pregnant. Plus, IVF costs are tax deductible - so even if you take a loan, you should be able to pay it back after doing your taxes next year - at least bigger part of it.
Me and my dh used donor embryos and I am currently 25 weeks pregnant.
Once again, good luck with everything and I will keep you in my prayers.
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