oopherectomy

[jmt26]

Hello everyone.  I'm new here.  I had a single oopherectomy back in 2004 due to a borderline tumor on my ovary. I was 18 at the time. The doctor told me I could still have kids but I might need help. January 2012 I got married to my best friend. We wanted a family right away so we set up an appointment with my obgyn. They found another tumor. Needless to say I had another oopherectomy at the age of 26. Before the surgey I found out my eggs were no good and could be saved because my body was in menopause. We were both pretty upset. Its been a year now and we've discussed using a DE. My question I guess is how to get over the fact that the baby isnt genetically mine and do I tell them when there older the truth.? I haven't even started the process and I'm already scared of the future.

[charter15]

Hi JMT, i am in a very similar situation to you.. I was 30 when my ovaries were removed, i was just giving myself a checkup(i felt fine) but they discovered a 13cm cyst on my left ovary and a few smaller ones on my right, i was told they will have to remove my left but the right ovary will be fine they will just remove the smaller cysts but keep the ovary and they assured me i will still be able to have kids etc i suggested freezing eggs but he said there will be NO need at all..

Anyway after i woke up from my Op, the surgeon told me they had to take BOTH as when they went in the right ovary was very bad and was at risk of cancer. i was obviously devastated to say the least but he even suggested egg donation, even though i wasnt ready to hear that, the idea never left my mind.. (sorry i am going on a bit).. The egg donation didnt take me long to get my head round (tho from time to time i still feel a littl sorry that i wont have my genetic child but its not a heavy sorry, i have pretty much come to terms with it)becasue i knew i wanted children and i also KNOW i will love my child when he/she comes and to be honest i had no other choice, i had no eggs but still wanted to be pregnant..

I am 34 now and have had an unsuccessfull round with a known donor- my friend last august, she didnt respond very well to treatment and only got 2 eggs. When the the two embroys went in i loved them immediatley and instantly felt that connection and willed for them to stick and grow but it wasnt meant to be but we are doing it again July this year with an unknown proven donor abroad.
As the other lady said they 'will be ours', i dream about my child everyday and love them already before they are even in my arms or grwoing in my womb. I know some people can adopt and its great but for me i just want the whole evperience and feel thelove growing inside of me, plus my husband is not to keen on adoption. He has no doubt also that the baby will be mine! This 2nd egg donation is my plan B but i already have plan C if iam not successful this year and that is to try again because i believe it WILL happen, Ix

[jmt26]

Thanks for your advise. Made me feel better to know I'm not alone. You're right things will all fall into place. Glad to know there's people going through the same thing I can talk to. My husband and I are gonna start the process asap.

[jzep721]

Hi there.....

I am pretty new to this forum and have the same exact feelings that you do. The ladies on here will assure you that it WILL be YOUR child and I am starting to believe it too :) We are about a month or two out from our first attempt with DE and the only thing I can say is what someone said to me....one foot over the other and keep moving forward. I think that if you go down that rabbit hole it is tough to see the light. I struggle daily with the decision to use DE but we don't have a choice....I am 42 and no eggs and have been trying for years....but I want to be a Mom and this is the next best thing. Our children will be ours....they will grow within us and have our blood running through it. As for what you will tell them?....you will figure it out. It will be part of natural life. There are sooo many ways to have a family these days, I don't think it will be a big issue. I can't believe I am writing all this but I am finally embracing this road and I just can't wait to get to the end :) There is support on here and please feel free to write! Good luck and know that there are other women who feel the exact same way.