Need help!

Okay ladies, I need some advice.  My daughter is 14 and is already experiencing very painful periods with heavy bleeding.  Midol and Pamprin do nothing for her so I have to give her prescription meds for the pain.  I asked my RE about it and he said that me having endo did increase her chances of having it so I'm worried that is what is causing her pain.  Here is my concern, we all know that the first thing the doc will suggest is bc, I just have a problem putting my 14 year old on birth control...even if it is for endo.  Also, do I go ahead and request an exploratory lap?  I know if it was me I would but hell, I'm almost 35 years old, she's still a baby.  I also know that by not properly treating the endo it has destroyed my fertility, I don't want her to suffer with the heartaches I have because of that.  I'm just torn about what is the best thing to do for her, I think I know but maybe I just need to hear it from a third party...a little help please.
Shelley

[Lux8027]

I am very sorry to hear about your little girl. :(  But the good thing is that your aware of the problem so thats a plus on her side.  This is just my opinion so you don't have to heed it. But if u have any around you, you could try a pediatric gyn. And if you can't find one of them then ask ur gyn or re to recommend someone to take her to.I would request  a catscan or  ultrasound done (on the belly not transvaginal as that is very invasive for  a 14 yr old) That may give a better picture as to what might be happening in there.  If the ultrasound gives any indication of endo then depending on the severity of what is seen then you know your options b/c or lap. I feel sick just thinking about the situation because your right she is just a baby:(   I can understand why you might hesitate with the b/c because it doesn't always help endo it sometimes just masks it. But also on the flip side a lap at 14 can be a scary thing for her and you. But as we all know treating it is of the utmost importance because it will affect her longterm.
So my advice boils done to head for an ultrasound and see if that shows anything and if it does then maybe try b/c for maybe a few months(2-3) if no change then maybe  an exploratory lap is needed.  I wish I could give you a cure all answer because as a grown woman endo is painful and exhusting but for alittle girl i couldn't imagine. Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.  

[blondy0022]

sounds like your little girl is growing up!!  my opinon is to put her on bc.  it will help solve few issues that may arrise or prevent those issues..  i know its mind altering to make that decission regarding your baby girl.  i was having similar issues as i was growing up and my mother refused to put me on bc...i wasnt sexually active at the time and few months later began to be sexually active. i asked myy mother again for bc   and she told me no.........know at 10 years later i resent my mother for not letting me have bc...not only for those problems but the other consequences as well....just consider it ....just talk to her ....be open minded...lots of luck

[o0theresa0o]

I think it is really important you ask your daughter what she feels comfortable with.  Remember, in the long run it is her body, and it is she who is suffering.  If you make decisions about her life and body without consulting her, she may become resentful, much like blondy did.

I think it would be a good idea to sit your daughter down and discuss with her all of the alternatives.  Don't dissuade her from doing one thing or another, just give her the facts, and find out what she would want to do.

I don't think it is very fair to have her go through the lap if BC hasn't been tried yet.  BC is much less traumatic, and is a much simpler fix (if it works for her).  Not to mention, there is no harm in having your daughter regulate her cycles.

Now obviously you're going to hope she isn't sexually active at her age, but preventing her from going on BC is not going to stop her one way or the other.  If she wants to become active, being on the pill is not going to make the slightest difference.  Just make sure you really explain to her that the pill isn't 100% effective, and that if she DOES become active, to wear condoms.  Besides, it is better to have her on it... just in case.

Don't exclude her from the discussions and decisions about this.  Sure she is your baby, but she is not a little girl anymore, and has the ability to make decisions for herself.  Just make sure you are giving her the tools to make the right ones.

[juliesmom]

I was her age when I first started having pain, it was ignored for a long time and I do resent that.  I know that she's very lucky to have a mother who has dealt with endo for as long as I have, I can be much more sympathetic than my own mother was.  She's asking me to make her an appointment with a doctor, she's tired of hurting and I'm tired of seeing her hurt.  I know how not treating my endo has effected my fertility and I don't want her to suffer with those heartaches, it's horrible.  I just wonder if my RE would see her at her age, I may give him a call today and check it out.  Thanks for all of the support.

[bonbon1981]

Hi Shelley,
That's great you are concerned about your daughter. I am so sorry to hear what she is going though. She is very lucky to have you as a mother.
I would discuss everything with your daughter so she knows what's going on & she's not left in the dark, & see what she feels that she wants to happen with her.  
I would suggest you get her the exploratory lap. I know your daughter is 14, but... if she's having painful long periods & heavy bleeding. It would be very helpful to detect any problems if she has endo, ect.... Or if there are any other procedures that aren't that extensive you should have that done.
I would definately suggest you get your daughter checked out by her dr, specialist(s)This way she'll hopefully be able to have children in the future.
I would definately suggest you make an appt. for your daughter to see your R.E.

I'm 26 yrs old, now & Have severe endometriosis. I have recurrent ovarian hemorragic cysts, both tubes are blocked. I've had 2 laparoscopies/1 laparotomy for cysts. Most likely since I was 14 yrs old.  

Here's my endometriosis story:
I'm 26 years old, When I was 14 yrs old, I was having really heavy bleeding for a very long time, I can't remember exactly I think I also had stomach pain with my periods. My mother took me to the drs. I was seen also by a teen gyno dr, This was due to the bleeding; I became anemic. I was put on BCP's--- I never became sexually active being put on the pill, taking the BCP's they didn't work so I was given the depo-provera injection. At the time taking the depo shot stopped my heavy bleeding.
My mother didn't do a lot to help me for the future. She didn't seem to concerned with my future fertility.

Lets see.... Years later, When I was 23 yrs old. I was about to get married. So I got the depo-provera shot, this caused me to bleed for about 9months- 1 year. I then told my husband I was worried about my bleeding. After I got married, I got health insurance.
With getting health insurance I was able to see an ob/gyn.
I had an ultrasound done, it showed I had a cyst/couple of cysts on my ovary(ies). I was put on BCP's to try & shrink the cyst. The BCP's didn't work. The cyst(s) continued to grow. So my dr. wanted to so a laparoscopy for the cyst.

On July 2006, I had my 1st laparoscopy done. At that time, my dr. tried to drain a cyst on my left ovary; but wasn't able to get it all. While inside with the laparoscopy, my dr. found a pretty big cyst on my uterus.
So the following month: August 2006, I went in for a laparotomy. At that time; my dr. removed the cyst on my uterus, & removed half of my left ovary & half of the left tube.

At my follow-up appt. I was told by my dr. that i would need to do IVF in order to become pregnant.

About a couple of months after my laparotomy, I started having stomach pain again. So In Feb. 2007, I had an ultrasound done... It showed I had another cyst on my left ovary.
In march 2007, I had my 2nd laparoscopy done for the cyst on my left ovary.

Before interviewing Infertilty drs. I had an HSG test done, It showed that both my tubes are blocked.... Most likely I've had endometriosis since 14 years old, it's caused both of my tubes to become blocked.

The first IVF dr. I went to, I think it was middle july, 2007 I had an ultrasound done. The cyst on my left ovary had come back, after my 2nd laparoscopy was done.
It was the 3rd clinic I went to, my husband & I decided to go with that clinic for IVF.

Before starting Medication, I had a cyst aspiration done. I've done 2 cycles so far... With both cycles, I have needed a cyst aspiration.

With having severe endometriosis, 3 surgeries, that has done quite a bit of damage to my ovary(ies). My tubes are blocked due to scar tissue produced from excess bleeding with my endometriosis.
With this.... Being on fertility medication- first cycle, I got 7 embryos & quite a few endometriomas. My first cycle... I ended up miscarrying.
My 2nd cycle of IVF.... I was put on a higher dosage of fertility medication. this caused me to get only 1 embryo- which was no good. Everything else was a chocolate cyst.

My R.E. told my husband (I forget exactly) that I've had endometriosis for so long that it's now severe, it's caused a lot of damage, he hasn't seen this severe of  endometriosis... so severely in a person of my age. When drs. hear I've had 3 surgeries, they are shocked.

In summary..... I would definately suggest you getting help for your daughter now, so hopefully she can be helped & feel better with her health. & in the future she may be able to have kids. Later on, in her life.
if she wasn't helped at 14 yrs old, later on she may blame you for not doing anything to help her.

With me... I am now stuck, with not being able to have kids on my own. Going though IVF, has been emotional for me. Due to I miscarried the first time, 2nd time... I wasn't able to do my transfer.
It sucks that my mother never really did anything for me, so I could have kids now. She seemed to not be concerend enough to think about my future fertility.


If you ever want to send me a message or anything, you are more than welcome to do that.
I am so sorry this is a little long.  

Bonnie
  

[juliesmom]

I know what you mean, I've dealt with endo for more than 1/2 my life and because it wasn't treated when I was young I can no longer have children without IVF.  Mine is stage IV, I have adhesions all through my abdominal cavity, on my ovaries, uterus, bladder...you name it and I've got it.  That's why its so important to me to get Julie the proper care as soon as possible, in hope that if she does have endo we can get it under control and avoid fertility issues down the road for her.  I called my RE's office yesterday and had his nurse ask him about Julie.  I'd spoken with him once before about her symptoms and he said that me having it as bad as I do made her high risk for endo and that if we can't control the pain with nsaids, Midol and Pamprin she'd probably need the bc and maybe a lap.  Anyway, he referred me to a gyn who is supposed to be wonderful with adolescents/teens with endo.  I made her an appointment with him for May 20, first thing they had open.  You know that your kid is in pain when they actually ask you to call a doctor for them...kids hate to go to the doctor.  All Julie could say was that what she was feeling couldn't be normal, none of her friends have these problems when they have their periods.  I've been having to give her my pain meds just so she can make it through the day at school, I feel so sorry for her.  Of all of the things I hoped I could pass on to my beautiful, caring and wonderful daughter endo was never one of them.

[destini85]

I recently was diagnosed with endometriosis and have done alot of research on it. They do say if your mother or sister has it they it is more possible for you to have it. So since you have it most likely your daughter does have it. I had to get lapascopic surgery to see if I had it my dr said thats the only way to be for sure if thats what you have. So I am betting that would be the worst of it for your daughter. My dr is doing shots with me I go in every month for 6 months and it will hopefully heal it. So there is other things you can do before doing a hysterictomy. But the sooner you start the better it will be for her. I would diffentially leave a hysterictomy for last choice they have lots of other treatments they can try first. My dr say it will take 3 to 4 months for the pain to go away which seems like pretty far away but I am only 23 and would like to have more kids. With your daughter being so you I would diffeniatly try every treatment possible before a hysterictomy and I would diffeniatly get a second opion if thats what her dr wants to do cause there is other treatments out there. let me know if this has helped you any thanks..

[juliesmom]

Having dealt with this for over half of my life you can be sure that I've tried everything.  I've had 3 laps, done 2 rounds of Lupron and endless months of birth control pills.  That being said I know what she's in for and I just want to get her started on some kind of treatment and get the endo growth under control before she ends up like me...35 and unable to have anymore children.  Thanks for the support!  I really appreciate it.

[destini85]

On the bc issue my dr is actually taking me off of it because of my endometriosis. But i do have to agree with everyone that you should put your daughter on it. I am not trying to worry you and i know you hope your daughter is not sexually active but alot of 14 year olds are. I know I lost mine at 14 and most of my friends did also around the same age. and i dout that is something she will actually want to tell her mother i know i never told my parents when i was sexually active. I had my son when i was 19 which i love him more then anything but if my parents would have been more there to put me on bc maybe i could have waited till i was more ready for it. my sister is 18 and has 2 kids because my parents never really talked to us about geting on the pill. my best friend had her first kid when she was 16. so i know you don't want to put your lil girl on bc but you also don't want her to come home pregnant at such a young age. She is at the age where you think it will never happen to you and don't always think about the outcomes. Even if she is not sexually active she will be one day and usually that is nothing you plan so if you start her on it at least you will know when that day comes she is protected a lil more. also bc does help regulate your periods so it can help with other issues. Alot of girls are starting bc at a much younger age these days..

[Lux8027]

Hey Shelley,
I am glad that your RE pointed you in the right direction. The only reason I thought about a pediatric gyn is because my little sister (14yr olds) had  some problems with  irregular cycles about a year ago. She did b/c for about 3 months and then went off of it just to regulate her cycle. And she hasn't had any probs since ( thank god) Either way they will keep an eye on her for awhile. Since you live with endo yourself I know you don't need detailed explanations about treatment. So I will just offer my support in whatever way you need it.

[bonbon1981]

I am so sorry that you have endo all over & you had to go through IVF. & you've had to deal with this half your life. that must be very hard.

Hopefully Julie can get some help with the dr. & she is able to have kids later on.
That's good if she is put on BCP's, Her dr. will do that for a while.  
I know that you said that the pain meds you are giving her isn't helping.
That is a good idea if Julie does have a lap done to see what's going on with her. In the long run it would be a really good idea. because if she is in a lot of pain, most likely she has endo; since you have it.

When I was 14 my dr's. put on BCP's they didn't help me out any.  I did get the depo-provera shot at the time, that helped some. It stopped my heavy continuous bleeding.
But... I guess since I had endo, the depo shot didn't help me out that much.

Awww... I am so sorry that she's having such a hard time & In so much pain. I know that must be so hard on you. That is really good you are getting her help, & when she is still young.  

For me it's been very hard, since I've had endo since I was most likely 14 yrs old. I really wish I would have had a lap. But, I didn't make it that far; I was given the birth control shot & that was it. Maybe if I would have had a lap done, I wouldn't have severe endometriosis.
unfortunately I didn't have a lap done; until I was 24 yrs old.
That's when I found out I had endometriosis. With my endo @ 24 yrs old, I guess it had gotten so severe that I got endometriomas. I was put on BCP's they didn't help out to shrink my cyst(s).