I really like this girl and am deciding to build a life with her. She said she had been diagnosed with endo last year and is in the mild stage of the disease. She is on birth control to keep the disease in check and has reduced her periods. Now I have read some absolute horror stories on the web of people with endometriosis but I want to ask a question...
What kind of outlook on quality of life am I looking at for someone with mild endometriosis who is doing everything to keep it in check for the short term and the long term of their life?
Are you looking more for what your life is going to be like?
Endometriosis can be treated and some people don't have side effects or the degree of others. Some women are infertile but it doesn't matter what stage either. I was stage IV and I conceived.
I am not going to lie living with Endometriosis ***** mostly when it is symptomatic. The frustrating part is have a doctor who listens to you. It took 17 yrs for me to be diagnosed so I suffered long, I got depressed, and now it ruined the quality of my life.
Everyday is different and it really depends on what symptoms she gets.
I have pain with sex, bm, and with eating. Some people just have the cramping and not other symptoms it really does depend on each person.
There is a huge range of symptoms and severity of endometriosis and those two don't even have a correlation. I think I've had pretty severe endometriosis. I used to have SEVERE pain on a daily basis, but I've never had pain with sex as a problem. On other hand when you're having painful spasms that literally knock you off your feet sex isn't really on your mind. But sex has never been the cause of my pain and orgasm seems like it can help the pain sometimes. Every women with endo is going to be different. So one woman's experience will not be the same as your girlfriend's.
It took me about a year and a half. Right now however I am infertile and can't conceive. My husband has been awesome through this all. I know he wants a child of his own but he loves me and understands it is just not meant to be. We may foster children or adopt as well and we don't see this as the end of the world but something amazing that could change our lives.
Not everyone with Endometriosis will be infertile, I can't express that enough. The only way you will know is by trying and sometimes it takes a very long time and you might have to see a fertility doctor if it comes to that point.
To me if you love someone it shouldn't matter if she has Endometriosis or not but if you can't get passed the what if's then I think your mind is already made up.
Life doesn't always go according to plan and if anything it hurts the women more than the man in every way.
Sex for me has been painful since I lost my virginity at 14 (young I know) however it never stopped hurting and I endured a lot of pain and men that would have sex even though it hurt me so I suffered a lot mentally because of it. If you are a guy like my husband who has been ever so patient and understanding you will find ways to do it. We have a position that works for us that isn't as painful but I wish we could do more. Since my surgery Feb 28th we haven't tried yet as we need me to heal inside. I can get back to you as to the pain level as my ovary was attached to my uterus and bowel and that is what caused the pain before. A lot of mine could be psychological because of what I have been through prior with men so I might be different. I also will let my husband do whatever and if he goes to deep or does something that hurts I ask him to stop or push him back and he understands that without taking it personal. Communication is key.
Stage IV the pain was intense for me because I had a rectovaginal cyst. It not only hurt to have sex but to have a bowel movement. Once removed and excised it helped tremendously. I actually had sex for a bit without pain.
I find that yes if you are diagnosed pretty early for the most part your quality of life is a lot better but although some people find out quickly the stage and the pain that they are in is what defines the disease and life standard.
I know many women who have Endometriosis and they don't even think about it while others suffer so greatly and it consumes their life.
For me I had a great surgery which is important because the surgeon excised the Endo which is the most important thing and he got everything leaving nothing behind. If the surgeon leaves some behind there will still be pain and even if they get it all Endometriosis will still grow back.
Don't make your decision based on sex or fertility base it on if you love her and if you have the strength to go along with her for this journey. There are always so many other options and that is worst case scenario she might be absolutely fine and you worried for nothing. Take it one day at a time.
If you have any other questions please feel free to ask as I am an open book about this disease so you dont need to be shy.
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