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38 year old, Hi Test, losing erections

I am a 38 year old male father of 4 children. I am in great health. I have been having serious erection problems. I can barely maintain an erection during sex with my beautiful wife.I always lose them multiple times. It is only semi-erect the whole time. It does become rigid right as I ejaculate. During masturbation I can't maintain an erection long enough to ejaculate. I only masturbate once a week, sometime not at all for two weeks or more. I had a traumatic pelvic ring diastasis 11 years ago and was lucky. I had no erection problems after the accident until now.
     I have had multiple blood panels done over the years and everything is great is seems.
Total testerone 849 done on 6-2-14
fasting blood sugar was never over 87
Never had an instance of HBP. Pressure is always 112/70 in that range, never over.
Prolactin level was normal.
Estradiol was low.
Cholesterol never was above 170
This years cholesterol was 130
LDL-63
HDL-51
Triglycerides-52
     My testerone was 484 last year and my erections were fine. This ED crap started about 4 weeks ago and I just dont understand whats going on. My wife and I did have a couple heated arguments that week like most couples. I over reactted to one of her facebook freinds (her brother in law actually). I work my tail off and didnt get much sleep that week. Have been having trouble ever since. I went from keeping my erection for a long time to barely keeping it hard enough and ejaculating really early. Thats not at all what she is used to. I stopped having morning erections before the accident. I do have multiple night time erections but I do not know how rigid they are. I did have an aortic valve replacement when I was 16 and my ejection fraction has always been high normal (60%-70%) I have always had some sort of performance anxiety. I never could have sex with a woman the first time. I stopped watching porn off and on over the years. I havent watched any this year. I guess my question is:

Since this started abruptly, is this probably psychological?
If not what could it be? I dont thing I could have any vessel blockages with the lipid level I currently have.
This is my first post. I was a little nervous. Sorry for the rambling.
JVD
13 Responses
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Avatar universal
Well just an update. I think it was all anxiety. I have no trouble and I am almost 41 years old now. I guess anxiety can kill anything. Thanks to all who gave me advice and tried to help.
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Avatar universal
Well I am in a slump again. I have a hard time keeping erections and I can't keep an erection when she is on top of me while I am on my back or sitting in a chair.  I am on the same meds as before. I have Viagra a doctor gave me and if I use only a quarter of a 50mg pill (12.5) iI have zero troubles no matter what position I am in. I can even stand while holding her up and still keep an erection. A couple of times I took it only 10 or 12 minutes before penetration ( I know you are supposed to wait 1 hour) and  I had a hard erection. Could it have been a placebo effect?
    I am also starting to believe I have some sort of psychological issue. We had sex recently and I was having the usual difficulties. I was behind her and could look into a mirror and see the penetration and  got really hard almost instantly ( to the point where it kinda hurt a little).  I thought that was a little weird. Could that signal a psychological issue?
One more question. I also don't get morning erections and I have not had any in 12 years or more. I used to get them every morning. I do get night time erections while sleeping but never a solid morning erection. I have been two 2 different urologists and they just don't really care I guess.  I am really concerned about this. I shouldn't be having given my age and health.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Keep a mirror nearby and be grateful for what you have. Stop making mountains out of mile hills dude. Enjoy your beautiful wife and feel lucky she loves you and you love her, it is all you need.
Avatar universal
it most likely the lack of sleep and stress causing the ED. if you work your butt off, you body does not have energy for sex.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
yes it is a possible reason for sure.
In my experience just worrying about not getting or losing my erection results in that happening.
Listen to the lady who advised you that the conscious can only focus on one thing at a time and use it to focus on the good sensations and feelings.
You have porn induced erectile dysfunction. You need to rewire your brain.also your Penis need constant supply of blood.
139792 tn?1498585650
Magnesium sulfate (Epsom salt); Magnesium is better absorbed from skin. Take Epsom salt bath to increase you magnesium blood level.Google Epsom Salt of magnesium sulfate.
Learn to do abdominal breathing. This will help to calm your emotions. Another technique is Breath to orgasm. This technique comprises of three type of breaths. Simultaneous breathing, alternate breathing and circular breathing.  This is good exercise for fore-play.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Considering magnesium is responsible for around 300 processes in your body - including muscle control, it may definitely contribute to your problem. Cut right back on your caffeine intake, as caffeine robs your body of magnesium.

Remember, when you are having an emotional problem, you are focusing on THAT problem instead of enjoying the feelings in your penis.
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Avatar universal
Thanks you so much for the advice. Erections have been much better, but not quite what is was in May. I found out my magnesium was low 1.6 Meq/L. The doctor told me that is was really low. He said he wants it around 2. Could the low magnesium have caused softer erections. Thanks

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Notice how your mind panics when you feel like you are losing the erection? This is because you don't have an exact procedure to follow during sex, so when an emotional response (anxiety) is triggered, your mind panics and then you lose your erection. This also occurs when a man has a premature ejaculation problem, but it causes him to lose control.

This slump will last until you correct your focusing problem.

What you need to do is control the emotional response program in your BRAIN, so you can remember the next sequence of focus to stay in control of the sexual act. If you try to ignore the associated feelings of the emotional response program (butterflies, tension, blood rush) your mind will panic and you will remember nothing.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks so much for your advice. I hope and pray that is what it is. If we are not in bed and I know we cant have sex, I get hard erections if she just touches my skin.  If I touch her feet or her hand, I get a hard erection. We had sex tonight, and it was good for a little while and be erection was beginning to soften. I got on top and it came back, but I didnt last long. I have bad anxiety so I think you are right. How long do think this slump will last and is there anything I can do to work past this issue. Thanks so much
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It is likely that one instance of losing your focus during sex (or just before sex) caused you to lose your erection. Constant performance anxiety has become your ongoing problem. When your mind becomes fixated on your ability to get an erection - and how long you will last, your mind is not focused in a way which would cause you to gain (or keep) an erection.

If you are working long hours and feeling tired, that will also affect your ability to stay hard and in control. As will wondering if things are ok with your wife. Remember that your conscious mind can only focus on one task at at time.

If you enjoy the feelings in your penis, you will gain the erection. Then switch focus to attending to your wife's needs to stay in control.
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Avatar universal
I am followed every 6 months by an Electrophysiologist and a Cardiologist.  I have been on sotalol for 6 years. I dont see how this medicine would cause this out of the blue?? I am on it for PVCs. Thanks.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You should see a cadiologist to follow up with him for your medication , he may replace any drug by another. i said that because you are living a healthy life with the same partner , the investigations results you said are quite normal , So, this may be a side effect of long term usage of these medications , so , again, i recommend that you go to a cardiologist ,
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Avatar universal
Crap  I also forgot to mention that I also take Coumadin 12mg daily and Sotalol (betapace) 80mg twice daily. I know ED is listed as a side effect of Sotalol, but I have been on it since 2008 and I didnt bother me then. I usually only take it in the am and forget the pm dose. So sorry for posting like an Idiot.
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Avatar universal
I forgot to mention I do not smoke or drink alcohol and never have. I also dont eat processed foods most of the week.
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