Hi, I am 31 years old and my husband is 33. We just got married about 8 months ago. We would like to have a baby. However, since we got married, we have had sex maybe half a dozen times. He has a small penis, which I can except because he is a wonderful man. However, when we do have sex, he loses his erection shortly into the act and can only orgasm if I perform oral sex on him. Needless to say, this is detrimental to my self-esteem, and I am CONSUMED with worry that I will not ever get pregnant because of this. To me, it feels like my husband is not attracted to me at all and it just kills me. I can't tell you how much I've cried over this. It's just gotten to the point where I do not want to have sex with him at all because it is such a depressing, humiliating and embarrassing experience. I mean, I am not the best looking woman in the world, but I have never had any trouble in the bedroom. I've put on fifteen pounds over the last 7 months as a result of this. We can't break up because we are married, and he is a very nice man. I would not be likely to find another man as nice as he is. But this is a huge problem for me. Please, please help!!! What can I do? We can't afford insemination - if we can just have a baby, I think I could manage the rest of my life without sex.......
Read up about DHEA this may help him, you can find some good info on webmd just put DHEA in the site search box.
You can also try him on cayenne, this will help his blood flow, info for this is on earth clinic, look up there ED file on cayenne, you can also see what other people are trying as well.
Oh honey, your post really hit home with me - I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I've been married a year and my husband and I have NEVER had sex. It's bizarre for me to even say that as I always had a very active sex life before I met him. I love him more than words and have tried to find fulfillment through an otherwise happy marriage, but it's not easy. I also struggle with the self esteem issues that arise from this issue, as I've never had this problem before. My husband is quite a bit older than me, has diabetes and blood pressure issues - essentially the magic mix that has completely stopped his penis from working. Because of this, he hates being intimate as it's always a disappointment to him. We talk openly about wanting to have a baby... and he knows that is all riding on him, which is way too stressful for us both. We also cannot afford insemination. I have no answers - in fact I stumbled upon your post looking for answers myself, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I'm not a religious person, but I decided to just give it up to God, and if we are meant to have a kid, it will happen... I don't know how to deal with this otherwise. We've been to therapy, he's been to a ton of doctors and the urologist and no one has answers... so I'll just pray for help, and will do the same for you. I wish you so much luck, and hope that you two can figure out a way to be truly happy together, come what may.
Hi Wife, OK his diabetes, is it 1 or 2, if its 1 then so to say not a lot of hope, now ifits 2 then there is some scope, with to he can do it with a diet, if he stays on meds then its them thats giving him ED its the side effects, but if I remember right then he could try trimex shots, these he injects into his p***s, you need to be a real man to do that.
Stress is a big sex killer, so you need to find a way of getting that down, so first fighting ED brings on stress anyway, but if its his work then he needs to deligate more and shift his load unless hes the boss, if he is the boss then the same things apply, shifting his load to calm him down, at home make sure when he walks through the door his work stays outside, make it a rule that all work stays outside, inside soft music, soft lights and a very calm atmosphere, this way you can bring his stress down, no alcohol, if he has a weight problem then he needs to get that down, and if he dosent exercise then he needs to.
Now thats my view, so just how dose this come into anything your doing now? or what you've been told to do.
Hope it helps.
Thanks Hard, I appreciate any help!
It's Type II Diabetes - and he's been very lax in taking care of himself... he has a gym membership that he never uses, but talks about needing to use constantly. I just can't seem to get him motivated.
I'll continue to do my best to make our home stress free. And try to find some way to motivate him...
Hi Wife, well time to play the DO YOU WANT SEX THEN game with him, you need to pull out all the stops, to get him up and running in all ways if you get my driftSee with me I have had ED and now in recovery, so I have a wife with a smile, you need to convince him he needs a good sex life even if just for you, but you need to get him on a diet for his diabetes and his health, get him off alcohol, fast foods and junk foods. if need be get him out walking,but brisk is best and swimming, these are things you can do together, if you can show him whats good for him it may work and give you a sex life with him, but his do fall is stress and his meds for diabetes.
So for you its going to be the long haul for a sex life, some of us men enjoy it and some can take it or leave it.
Hi Wife, try this for him its transendental meditation, I got this from the daily male, its a UK paper on line today.
This type of meditation, which involves making a sound repeatedly, lowers death rates from heart attack and strokes.
In the new study, researchers found that people with heart disease who practised transcendental meditation for 20 minutes twice a day were 48 per cent less likely to have a heart attack, stroke or die from all causes compared with those who attended a health education class over more than five years.
Those practicing meditation also lowered their blood pressure and reported less stress and anger.
And the more regularly patients meditated, the greater their survival, said researchers who conducted the study at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
Lead researcher Dr Robert Schneider, director of the Institute for Natural Medicine and Prevention in Iowa, said: 'We hypothesised that reducing stress by managing the mind-body connection would help improve rates of this epidemic disease.
hello I just wanted to say I saw your comment and it hit me home as well. I'm engaged to the person I want to share my life with, we were high school sweethearts and have a WONDERFUL relationship. My fiance' found out he had diabetes 6 yrs ago, shortly after he was no longer able to get an erection. He has gone to several doctors and tried pills but nothing seems to work. latley the issue has been so DEPRESSING for us because we want kids more than anything. I often find myself in tears just looking at a pregnate woman, to make matters worst my sister just found out she is pregnate & I'm trying to be happy about it but deep down inside I'm devastated, I pray about it and still no luck from god and as wrong as it sounds it has caused me to question my fatih. I just want to ask if you could pray for us & I will pray for you. I guess coming across your post was a message from god that I am not alone.. GOD LUCK!
Hi Toya, If its diabetes 1 then big trouble, but if its 2 then you have a chance as he can get over it by doing a diet, its hard way to go but it works , Ionce worked with a guy who was doing it, worked for him, You can google it for more info.
I am 26 years old guy. From the age of 15 i am masturbuting regularly. Now the problem is when i talk to my girlfriend daily over phone or when we go out and sit together and talk normally with in few minutes i feel there is sticky precumin my undies. Just touching her, or talking over phone, getting little aroused i find massive precum. I want to cure this problem. Plz help me. I am not able to prepare for my exams. I also ejaculate in 2-3 minutes. Plz help me out. plz suggest about my precum problem. I am feeling that i am getting weak day my day. Dullness on my face bcoz of this precum problem. Plz plzhelp me.
Dear nerdlover2, a few things: first, try out something new in the bedroom to et him interested AFTER you have put him on a masturbation diet (he will need to/want to come if he has not done so for a while). Secondly, don't delude yourself that a baby will fix the bedroom issue. Are you sure you are ready to have a baby & spend the rest of your life with a man that you are considering breaking up with over ED?
I feel so sorry for you and your situation. However, in my opinion only, (I don't want to sound judgemental) but it is naive to say that after having a baby you would be okay without sex. Sex is a healthy component to a healthy and loving relationship. There is no doubt that you love your husband, however one also needs to be sexually fulfilled as well and you will feel that as you get older. I find I want sex more now than when I was younger and me and my husband have a 2 year old. We are trying for our second and he has also lately been going soft and will see the doctor about erectile dysfunction. He too doesn't want to talk about it. And I too feel like it could be my fault. Maybe I put too much pressure on him. I don't blame my looks because although I am not stunning like before, I have maintained myself fairly well. . .But I blame the fact that I pressured him to find a job when he was a stay at home dad and now he does have a full time job and I demand that he still spends quality time with us. . .he never has a moment to himself. And having a 2 year old is difficult and so as soon as he is home from work, I nag him to take over. . .so maybe he is going through a depression. . .But the main thing is that you and your husband have to talk about this. . .that is for sure. . .because if sex is not enjoyable, you may just consider having an open relationship whereby you are allowed to sleep with other men. . . . and he with other women. ..however that could also cause problems. . .He may need to see a doctor or you may need to leave him. . .it is a tough situation.
hi, there. im 36yrs and my husband is 44yrs. recently we r planning to have a baby as we just got married. my husband has heart problem and doctor put stent in his artery and he has to take medication such as asprin etc regularly. and we are planning to have our baby now. do those medication afffect to provide quality sperm and affect my preganency? thanks
Prayer is a very powerful thing and i would always encourage it.
Try a change in diet and see if there are any improvements... I know it's expensive, but an organic diet with the right amounts of fruits and veggies works wonders on the body. Also, do some research on adjusting your body from acid to alkaline as this is how the body was actually designed to fight diseases and so on.
I don't care what traditional doctors say, diabetes and all other ailments including ED can be defeated by proper diet and exercise.
I will join in your prayer circle for the healing of the ED situation... don't loose hope
I want ask about ... For some reason I don't want children so when I make six I had erection but I never ejaculate to vagina but befor egacilation there is some fluid may escape but it is not semen... So I want ask this fluid may do pregnancy ???
I know this is an old post but thank you for posting this. My husband and I are having similar issues and I am feeling lonely because I have no one to talk to about this. I don't want him to feel embarrassed to talk to me but it's not easy. The doctor was not much help with solutions other than diet and exercise. But I do not feel my husband is motivated to work on these issues which does not make me feel very good because I should be important enough to him to make some changes. I won't say that I could live without sex but we've been together awhile and our relationship has sustained very well without an overly active sex life. But not having a baby, that might be extremely hard for me as I work with pregnant women and babies for a living. I never thought this would be an issue for me but it is so difficult. I'm glad there are other people who have similar issues. I feel less alone.
Your husband has a psychological problem, and it could EQUALLY be just as difficult for him.
You need to talk to him, an help him understand how you feel.
He needs to do the same.
He also needs to see the doctor and get some form of viagra to help maintain an erection long enough to ejaculate inside you.
You need to let go of the idea that you're not beautiful enough.
Your husband knows you are, and probably feels so insecure every time he loses his erection.
That alone is detrimental to a mans psyche, as much as I assume it is for a woman not to feel appreciated and beautiful.
Communication is the answer.
Then don't stress.
ENJOY each other's company, learn to laugh and have fun while being intimate.
Wanting a child and conceiving naturally is possible with the help of prescribed viagra.
You may Have to set aside your insecurities, he also, to conceive.
Again, you need to communicate.
How do I know? I was like your husband for many years, my wife also felt the same as you.
Our relationship is the strongest it's ever been.
I realized for many years I watched porn to jack off, (since early high school) because I felt so insecure and ashamed that no one would ever love me, and that I was never going to be good enough for anyone.
We couldn't conceive for many years, and I was becoming more depressed.
Thanks to my loving and caring wife, I had the courage to put aside my ego and I saw the doctor.
Doc prescribed me viagra.
Sex was so great, my wife and I actually laughed out of astonishment!
We also learned that sex was not all it turned out to be. Of course we love it, don't get me wrong, but it's the communicating and deep appreciation and support for each other that makes intimacy so much more rewarding.
Now my wife is pregnant, an everything is looking great.
Your husband probably wants you to feel beautiful, he's not a mind reader.
His Ed is enough to mess up his life, an not being able to perform well far outweighs anything else.
If you've told him he hurts your feelings, tell him how he can make you feel beautiful. He's not a mind reader.
I'm going to write a book, because my story needs to be shared! :)
Everything will be ok, you and your husband, talk about it. Show each other how to help.
And one final msg for your husband.
Sir, be a man and see the doctor.
Your wife deserves the best, so do what you got to do to become the best for her.
See the doc, and ALWAYS counsel with your wife.
All the best for the new year, and God Bless you both (and your future baby/babies)
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