Cannot orgasm during sex

[Tricks79]

Hi, I am a 27 year old male who can have and maintain, an erection.  Can orgasm during masturbation, though it takes a lot of time(usually at least an hour) and concentration.  I am recovering from severe depression, and was taking citalopram, which did not help the situation...  Even prior to taking the medication I could not always reach orgasm...  It was about 30% of the time I would have one, but always took a lot of time and concentration(never under a half hour of penetration).....  I have a new partner now, and to this point have not been able to achieve orgasm... its like my penis goes numb, and I have seems like I have sexual ADD(my mind wanders)...  I am now taking Wellbutrin, in place of Citalopram, but the issue persists... I have been my new partner now over 10 times and have yet to ejaculate....  

Any help would be appreciated

[mhelen59]

doctor, you are right about the literature being scarce, my partner has this problem and until today I never even knew there was another word for it besides ED and I researched and googled it extensively. In my partners case he can ejaculate but he really has to concentrate, I may start using my mouth or hand but he always has to finish himself and he hasn't come inside me for 1 1/2 years,  - if he takes viagra he can usually get hard enough to penetrate but not always - this has been going on for 1 1/2 years, he is on medication for high blood pressure a heart condition and also takes a lot of Viccodin for bad pain - he is a landscape supervisor and works very hard and the medicine is the only way he can continue to work, he is only 50 years old so retirement is not an option .... it is a very hard thing for both of us - we have been together 16 years and our sex life has always been wonderful and a big part of who we are ..... but luckily we also love being together, love talking, cuddling and are each other's best friends .... still sometimes I miss the old days and even though pregnancy is not a factor there is a pycological part of him coming inside me that I miss.... and even knowing it is the medication and his pain that causes the problem I still sometiimes revert to thinking it is my fauly ( 3 kids and age has changed my body a bit too)  .....   when it first started we talked a lot which helped though there were times he just didnt want to talk .. I learned to pick my moments ... so we make the best of it - usually the viagra at least helps with the erection part ... my aunt once told me that growing old is not for sissies and boy was she right, lol, I think keeping our sense of humor helps a lot and knwoing that there is so much more to our relationship than the sex part - (though as I point out to him "but I like the sex part so much!!!!!!!!!")  anyways I just stumbled on this forum but it is good to hear other in the same boat

[Ash Tewari, MD, M.Ch.]

Hello Sir,

There is an unfortunate lack of randomized controlled studies regarding anorgasmia, so literature is scarce about the topic. Basically anti-depressants affect important neural pathways and affect levels of circulating hormones, therefore they cause erectile dysfunction in many ways, including anorgasmia. For you it seems as though the combination of depression with medications with current anxiety issues are all factors contributing. The best therapy is to work with your partner, try different things. See what type of activities you enjoy, and try not to focus on the orgasm as much and just continue with sex as if there are no problems. The more you think about it, sometimes the more elusive it becomes, try increasing foreplay as well before attempting intercourse so you might be more aroused.

[D2007]

My lover has this problem - ejaculates only once or twice a year and it takes a long time and a lot of effort on his part, although he says he doesn't mind and we have satisfactory sex (for me anyway) every few days. He won't discuss it and doesn't want to see a doctor. He has had prostatitis in the past, is quite sensitive and I think it is physical, not nervous or drugs related. If you find out anything useful, I'd like to know.

[Logansmommy913]

im sorry your dealing with this my husband when we first started having sex did not "finish" for a couple of months till one day  i was like u just gotta because i started to think it was me and i was with him 4 times 1 day and bam he has been getting to "finish" ever since i know his was nerves. I hope all works out for you.