Hello, i am an 18 year old male who is currently in a bit of a pickle. My girlfriend and i tried having intercourse last weekend, but we noticed my penis doesn't really get hard enough, the condom would fit on my penis, but it would slide off because my penis couldn't maintain erectness. I have been paying attention to it lately, and i noticed my penis only gets semi-erect when i masturbate, and it becomes soft within the minute i do nothing with it. I don't have any problem ejaculating however, so i can masturbate, but it makes it impossible for me to have intercourse. I am living a decently healthy life, i don't drink a lot, i don't smoke or do drugs and i work out quite a bit. If you could give me any tips on how to fix it, if i should visit an urologist in person or just hold back on masturbation or anything that could help me solve this problem, it would be very appreciated.
bro I had this same problem when I first tried having sex and then again 3 years later the key to your problem is that your thinking to much if you relax yourself a bit and maybe let her go around your body and start getting you erect it will be much easier but u have to clear your mind from negative thoughts because it will keep happing
ill tell you my story so it was my birthday and I was throwing a party and I got some free mdma and I was having a pretty good feel for it so at this point im grabbing on one of the girls in the party and we start hooking up I took her to the bathroom and we where playing around fun but she made me uncomfortable when she made me take all my clothes off to have sex with her after that I kept losing my erection but the mdma kept helping me I would play with her vagina with my fingers and she gave me a little oral until I was ready .... this was one of my worst but best sex experience because I had already learned from me losing my virginity that if you take your mid off the random thoughts in your head like am I going to go soft or am I soft your focus more on pleasuring you and her
Hey bro, everyone is going to tell you it's in your head or your nervous. And that could, or could not, be it. But how nervous are you when you're alone masturbating? I would try to spend the next while observing your body, look at the quality of your morning erections, how often you get them, any pain, any changes, etc. And I would even keep a dated record of all this stuff. I would also think back in your history, if you remember changes, or any accidents or injuries, or how often you bike ride, or if you rode a mechanical bull (anything with impact in that area) and record all this info.
How you masturbate matters. Jerking it away from you and towards you, back and forth injures it. Bringing your hand up and down as though it's going into a girl is the way you're supposed to do it. Though intuitively I feel that all masturbation can or does each time injure you.
How does it injure you? I gave myself blocked arteries and a lot of scarring in the tissue at 23 years old. Young enough where GPs and the first urologists told me to do nothing and still didn't believe me when I knew it was physical. You can think of an erection as having 3 stages:
The first is initiating. This includes the nervous system and the brain that sends the signals out to begin. When someone says you're nervous, they are saying your ED comes from this stage.
The second stage is filling, which is blood entering your penis through arteries. I had a blocked artery so some blood got in, but the pressure was not like it used to be. And I needed Viagra (or there is Cialis or self-injections) to get enough blood pressure to overcome that blockage in order to be hard enough for intercourse. The Viagra worked less and less (probably because I continued to masturbate in the especially bad way) and then even with triple the highest recommended dose of Viagra, I was impotent.
To cure the blockage, I finally had bypass surgery (also called revascularization surgery) where you take another artery in your body and attach it via micro-surgery past the blockage. This requires the blockage to be localized and in certain spots that can be bypassed.
The third stage in an erection is storing. When the blood enters your penis it is supposed to stay there. Blood rushes in causing the penile tissue to relax and expand against the tunica (wall) squishing or pinching the veins shut, which are between the tissue and wall. Arteries take blood into the penis, veins take blood away back to the heart. When arousal lessens, the tissue contracts, moving away from the wall, opening the veins back up, and the blood leaves, and you return to flaccid. This process requires strong blood flow (so a blocked artery can affect this) as well as elasticity in the tissue to be able to expand once the blood enters.
Scarring takes away from the elasticity in the tissue (think of an elastic band). So when blood rushes in, the tissue wants to expand but can't fully because it's being held back by scarring, so as a result the veins are left open. And it's a matter of degrees now. The more scarring, the less elasticity, the less the penile tissue expands, which means the more the veins remain open, which means the more blood that is "leaking" out of your erection (this is called venous leak). This could mean softer erections that don't last as long, but ones that are still hard and last long enough for penetration, or where they aren't hard enough or don't last long enough for penetration, and sometimes erections don't form at all because as soon as the blood enters the penis, it exits, or "leaks" out.
I had significant scarring and what I did was harvest stem cells from my fat and inject them into the problem area. A liposuction doctor and urologist did this. Naturopaths recommend adding HGH to the injection as well. This is essentially trying to have the body repair the damage, remove the scar tissue and even grow blood vessels. The process for the cells to do this take around 6 months once injected. I'm not at the 6 month mark yet.
I wrote so much because I think when you go to see a urologist you should be armed with as much knowledge as you can be. And again the first urologists told me to do nothing, so they were wrong. And even when I asked if more tests existed beyond an ultrasound, they wouldn't tell me (it turns out there are more tests, which I've since have, that discovered the blockages and scarring), and they wouldn't even tell me when I asked point blank if surgery existed for this. The first thing they will probably tell you is probably to just give it time, so might as well start that now, and record everything, so when you go in there you can tell them it all. And don't be afraid to see urologist after urologist if you have to. I personally would stop masturbating, but that's just cause look at what I went through.
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