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Dating 53 year old man
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Dating 53 year old man

I have been dating a man for over 6 months now and he has initiated no sex. He is affectionate and we've made out many times. He will go to second base and that is it. I have reached down to feel him a couple of times when we were getting intense and I could not feel his penis at all. He had on loose fitting khaki pants and I didn't linger there but I was a little surprised because I expected that he would have some degree of erection. I'm wondering if he has ED and is too embarrassed to discuss it with me. So for you men who started having problems later in life does it sound like ED is probable or do you think he is just not that into me or not ready for sex and thus not excited.

As a part two to this question. In case this turns out to be the case what advice would you give me so that I can be supportive. I adore him and do not want to say or do anything to cause him embarrassment. Would he still receive pleasure from stimulation there even if it is not hard or should I direct my attention elsewhere?

He does take alot of meds for chronic pain.



Tags: dating
8 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
I hope some of the male readers answer your question, especially the second part, as to whether he'd still receive pleasure from stimulation or if it would just bother him.  

Why don't you just say, "I adore you and don't want to do or say anything to cause you embarrassment, but since we've been seeing each other for six months, I was wondering if you could you tell me what is going on when we are in an embrace?  I am getting kind of confused about it, and certainly don't want to pester you if you are not getting anything out of it."  If he's been seeing you for six months, one would think he would trust you enough to tell you.  

The options that would occur to me in your shoes would be (in order of likeliness):

-  ED from the medications, and not wanting to discuss it because it makes him feel, well, impotent.
-  Being gay and dating you as a cover and/or for companionship.
-  (Remote possibility) Having had a trauma or injury and simply unable to have an erection.

It really seems like by now, he should be able to talk to you about any of those if you ask in a sympathetic enough way.

Regarding the thought that he's just not that into you, a guy who dates someone for six months isn't doing it because she's unattractive to him.  Even men who are not into a particular woman's personality or character can still get erections with a willing woman.  The two things together make me think that it doesn't have anything to do with him not being into you in particular.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for replying and reassuring me that he is attracted to me. I am quite certain he is not gay.

As many men do, he has a hard time opening up and talking about his feelings. Even discussing intimate topics much less personal than this is difficult for him so I really don't think I can be the one to initiate the conversation. I just try to be available and do what I can to help him feel comfortable discussing anything. He has a real problem even giving or receiving compliments. I can't figure out what the root of this is either. I have to interpret his feelings by his actions. If I depended on his words I would be in despair.

Men?? All advice is welcome.  
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1828226_tn?1323568848
while you making out with him just ask him if you can play with his ****. If he stops you "say I never met a man that said no to that". Then he'll give in and let you play with it. If it don't get hard, start asking questions... If he admit he has E.D then determine how severe is it. Once you determine how severe it is, determine if you still want to deal with him or not.
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Avatar_m_tn
It could well be his cronic (chronic) pain meds or opioids, they lower his testerone, and his libido, and also couse his ability to orgasm, and as for not filling anything he could come under growers and showers ie aman could have a 1inch p***s slack, next man has 5inchs slack, but when erect both have 6 inchs, OK get the picture.
I do have a long list of herbs and hormons, but I have no idea how these simple things would sit with his meds, as this mean doing a lot of googling to find the facts on them with opioids.
come back if you want how I got out of ED and now in recovery.
Good Luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I would not stop seeing him because of ED of any degree. This relationship may fail but not for that reason. At least not on my end. The biggest problem is that he cannot share his feelings or even tell me what he wants from this relationship. I suspect that if he has ED that is the reason for the communication issues. I think he tries to act indifferent at times to prevent things from getting to the point of discussing this. This is just intuition. Who knows. It's maddening.
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Avatar_f_tn
That is all new information for me. I've never seen a a shower. Never knew there was such a thing. And yeah to the herbs. I'm kind of into that kind of thing and have had great success with them treating all kinds of things. No point looking for a cure though until we know or if the case be, admit there is a problem.
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Avatar_m_tn
Ok Guest, here is how I got out of ED and now in recovery, which means I'm back in the saddle again, and thats not boasting, and now coming up to 65 years of age.
So what below is a post I did on another site for men with ED, the last time I looked it had well over 100 readings, and I've posted it here a few times.
Good Luck

What is below is a reply I put in to a discussion on side effects to ED drugs, so I’m now putting So if he drugs don’t work or work well but with bad side effects, then go the herbal way, and it works, but you need to go the whole way with them and give them a good try, just like drugs its a mix and match affair to find the right mix.
Now for I'm in ED recovery and if like me you can get the mix right it will also give you a healthier life style thrown in as a side effect, so that cant be bad can it.
OK for I was given Viagra here in Greece when a was told all that I had was anxiety, its great when your told that, without any examination, and then given Viagra without any tests of any kind, all this I found out later of line, and after this decided that I then needed to find my own way out of ED if I could, the one thing if you start looking is DHEA comes up a lot of the time, so did research into it and asked on a couple of forums for info, for or against.
So I'm now on DHEA 75mgs a day, this is something you really need to read up about if you think its for you and start low to see how it sits with you,
Now and have just started to take Tribulus, this now backs up my DHEA, I'm now taken Tribulus 2 x 750mgs a day, its a bit like DHEA gives your testrone and libido a boost, but with no side effects, not that I've had any from DHEA, these I take for 5 days then rest for 2.
I also take Garlic chopped up fine with olive oil and parsley, and do a whole head at a time, I also take Cayenne, this I put into tomato paste and mix it smooth with olive oil, both of these I rotate alternate days then change them round the next week and only take for 5 days then 2 days rest, These you need to wash down with water before meals.
I also have Ginger in lemon and honey tea, I fine grate Ginger from the freezer. grate to the size of a large egg put in cup with lemon and micro wave30 secs then add your tea, Green or Black, tastes great,( on pegym they call this erection tea ) Green tea is also a help with ED, Green tea, Cayenne and garlic are all known herbs for cleaning the blood and given heat down below they all help open the veins up, and to help get blood into the penis, and believe me you will fill this some time later, I also have some herb Tribulus which I brew with green tea, and drink with ginger honey and lemon, I read that honey and lemon is good for the blood.
On pegym they have what they call the 5Gs it’s all herbal and well worth a look at, just Google the 5Gs, it will take you straight there.
There are lots of other things you can try, Borax see earthclinic for this under ED, Glycine, Nutmeg, but watch this one they say it could be a mind bender,D-Apartate at 3 grams, Ginseng, Ginko Biloba and zinc, but the list is endless.
There does not seem to be many side effects to most herbs, I did get some high blood pressure from Viagra but now since being on mostly herbs I feel and get some real good hardons, and the morning woods are good, I even get woken in the night with some real boners and never had that before.
Look I do hope this may help with some of you guys out there who think that the doctor is the only place to get help, I do some answering on medhelp and webmd the doctor on webmd does not like me given people advice on herbs, but he forgets that all modern drugs come from herbs in the first place, and a lot of new drugs have there roots in herbs, and druggists are still researching roots, herbs and flowers to find new drugs.
Good Luck We Need IT
Tail End
Lots of the above can be Googled by just adding ED on the end of them, Cayenne can give lots of support to the prostate, also by mixing things with olive oil boosts your omega intake, and by taken to spoonfuls of olive oil a day gives you even a bigger boost of omega.
My DHEA I take 50 mgs first thing in the morning, this I got from a web site on dosage of DHEA, this is because the body’s own DHEA is at its highest then, and so what we take can help boost it.
Yes and don’t forget your vitamin D, just get yourself out in the sun and you can pack your body with it, its free that way, they say you only need 15 minutes a day to get enough of it , me I’m out in it all day long here in Greece, and most of the time naked.
And the last thing I got my wife a c**k ring for Xmas, it’s a Hardwear Ice made of glass and works really well, once you get used to wearing it, and can give you some fantastic boners that are really strong.
if intrested just google hardwear ice.
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Avatar_m_tn
For Erectile Dysfunction there is something special in Cyprus, Europe and USA: kouspos! Take one kouspos every day and faka kolosou!!

Another solution for ED :simply eat four to five hot peppers every day together with your lunch. After a month or two months your penis erections shall be strong and so on. You should drink enough water when you feel hot due to the hot peppers. If hot peppers are not available you should add two to three spoons of cayene powder to your lunch. You can cover the pieces of  meat or fish or chicken and of course you can mix your salad with one spoon of cayene and also you can cover some pieces of potatoes with cayene. Cayene is the powder of red hot peppers.


REGARDS
KOYNELOS IN CYPRUS
email: gatides.***@****
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