Do I have ED?

Hi, I'm 17 and I have been having trouble getting an erection lately.  I used to get them all the time, but now I either cannot get one or it is not very hard.  This seemed to start when I gave blood recently.  Could it be possible that my giving blood is the cause?  If not, what could it be? I don't believe it is a psychological problem, but please help.  This is really embarrassing when with my girlfriend.

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

Within minutes of giving blood you might notice a lessening of erection, but otherwise, that should not cause erection concerns.

You say you don't believe it's a psychological problem. How do you know?

The easiest way to determine whether this is emotional/psychological rather than physical is to notice your erections upon awakening from sleep. Are they as firm as ever? And what about during self-pleasuring? Still erect? Then it's not physical.

Here's some general information about erections:

Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!

Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?

Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.

I wonder if there's something about being sexual with your girlfriend that's uncomfortable for you. Are you at ease with her and confident, or are you worried? This can inhibit your body's ability to respond sexually.

For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available in paperback and is an invaluable resource.

Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

[marc1894]

I could tell you right off the bat-there is nothing like honesty issues between you and your lover which would prevent an erection. There might be something you are feeling that you can't put your finger on which precipitates when you are being affectionate. Or it could be that you are too used to the same scene, same bedroom, like boredom, you and your gal should make a change of scenery. Go away for the weekend of course with a chaperone or your parent's permission.